444 lines
12 KiB
Markdown
444 lines
12 KiB
Markdown
---
|
||
created_at: '2010-06-18T01:22:44.000Z'
|
||
title: Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument (2001)
|
||
url: http://www.pigdog.org/auto/mr_bads_list/shortcolumn/1914.html
|
||
author: btilly
|
||
points: 114
|
||
story_text: ''
|
||
comment_text:
|
||
num_comments: 21
|
||
story_id:
|
||
story_title:
|
||
story_url:
|
||
parent_id:
|
||
created_at_i: 1276824164
|
||
_tags:
|
||
- story
|
||
- author_btilly
|
||
- story_1440999
|
||
objectID: '1440999'
|
||
|
||
---
|
||
[Source](http://www.pigdog.org/auto/mr_bads_list/shortcolumn/1914.html "Permalink to Pigdog Journal (Mr. Bad's List) -- Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument")
|
||
|
||
# Pigdog Journal (Mr. Bad's List) -- Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
|
||
|
||
![Reliable, Balanced Entheogen Information][1]
|
||
|
||
| ----- |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
| ![][2] | ![][3] | ![][4] |
|
||
| ![][5] |
|
||
|
||
| | | |
|
||
| |
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
|
||
2001-01-05 16:42:57
|
||
|
||
By [Mr. Bad, Crackmonkey][6]
|
||
|
||
| ![][7]
|
||
[Mr. Bad's List][8] | |
|
||
|
||
| |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
_Hope is not a method_
|
||
\-- Splicer's High School Sex Ed Teacher
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
[Main][9]
|
||
[Features][10]
|
||
[Columns][11]
|
||
[Categories][12]
|
||
[Interviews][13]
|
||
[Reviews][14]
|
||
[Authors][15]
|
||
[Archives][16]
|
||
[Search][17]
|
||
[Feedback][18]
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall \-- they're definitely desperation tactics.
|
||
|
||
1. That won't scale.
|
||
2. That's been proven to be O(N^2) and we need a solution that's O(NlogN).
|
||
3. There are, of course, various export limitations on that technology.
|
||
4. The syntax is idiosyncratic.
|
||
5. Trying to build a team behind that technology would be a staffing nightmare.
|
||
6. That can't be generalized to a cross-platform build.
|
||
7. Unfortunately, the license would contaminate our product.
|
||
8. If we go with that idea, we're going to have Don Marti camped out in the front lobby with 300 angry software jihad supporters.
|
||
9. Our support infrastructure simply can't handle the volume that change would involve.
|
||
10. I had one of the interns try that approach for another project, and it scrambled the CEO's hard drive. So I think it's going to be a hard sell.
|
||
11. Yes, well, that's just not the way things work in the real world.
|
||
12. I like your idea. Why don't you write up a white paper and we'll review it at the next staff meeting?
|
||
13. Unfortunately, we're an all-FORTH shop. Otherwise, it's a nice idea.
|
||
14. I think you need to stop taking this so personally. We need to think about what's best for the project, not about our own little pet theories.
|
||
15. Oh, I played with that approach back as an undergrad. Got a D, too.
|
||
16. I was reading about that on BugTraq yesterday.
|
||
17. Yes, I believe that's the approach Windows NT is taking.
|
||
18. That's totally inefficient on modern hardware.
|
||
19. Well, yes, but it really reduces to the knapsack problem in that case. Do you have some kind of heuristic, or are we dealing with an NP-complete case?
|
||
20. Have you LOOKED at the number of I/O requests that will create?
|
||
21. We can't afford the transaction overhead.
|
||
22. Yeah, or we could all just plink away on Amigas or something.
|
||
23. What? I don't speak your crazy moon-language.
|
||
24. Hmm. Didn't they just go bankrupt? It's OK, I guess -- there's some German company who's picked up the existing service contracts.
|
||
25. No, no, no. We're really working on an N-TIER architecture, here.
|
||
26. No, no, no. It's fairly important that the database be in THIRD NORMAL FORM.
|
||
27. No, that would break object encapsulation.
|
||
28. I don't think that's altogether clear. Please write it up in UML for me.
|
||
29. I think there's a problem with your drive geometry.
|
||
30. Can you generate some USE CASES that would justify the change?
|
||
31. How is that going to impact the schedule?
|
||
32. RAM is cheap and all, but...
|
||
33. It would probably be best if we deferred that until version 2.0.
|
||
34. I like it, but it is too point-oh for my tastes.
|
||
35. If you make this change, I will fork the code.
|
||
36. Yes, well, unfortunately the economy is going away from anything remotely like that. Our investors would kill us.
|
||
37. Jakob Nielsen wrote an interesting hit piece on that.
|
||
38. Yes, yes, we've all read DJB's RFCs on the subject.
|
||
39. This is all covered in Knuth, and we don't have time to go over it again.
|
||
40. This one is in the FAQ: http://www.linuxmafia.com/~rick/faq/#your_dumb_technology
|
||
41. I don't have time for this extropian nonsense.
|
||
42. Well, I guess we could start the QA cycles again from square one. That would require a press release, though.
|
||
43. You used to program in Pascal, didn't you?
|
||
44. Why don't we make a generalized solution including both options, and let the administrator decide with a config-file setting?
|
||
45. You've obviously ignored the various namespace issues.
|
||
46. I don't think you're considering the performance trade-offs.
|
||
47. What kind of benchmarks have you been running?
|
||
48. Let's table this for now, and we'll talk about it one-on-one off-line.
|
||
49. This really doesn't jibe with our core competency.
|
||
50. This sort of thing should really be outsourced.
|
||
51. I remember that IBM had a project to do that back in the 70s.
|
||
52. Um, hello? We're using VON NEUMANN MACHINES HERE.
|
||
53. We need this to fit on a single floppy.
|
||
54. Yes, but can this be embedded in a toaster, for example?
|
||
55. We need something that my mom can use.
|
||
56. Users won't want to click through that many layers of hierarchy.
|
||
57. The packaging costs will be prohibitive.
|
||
58. OK, but what about internationalization?
|
||
59. Look, would you just get off your Be obsession for FIVE MINUTES and talk serious design with us?
|
||
60. That's a good idea -- you should do that on your home page.
|
||
61. Yeah, Linuxcare tried that with the Sourceror project.
|
||
62. Ho, man! Are they still AROUND? That's so cool. I thought that whole idea was discredited years ago.
|
||
63. What you're not seeing is the difference between an 'is-a' and a 'has-a' relationship.
|
||
64. There is no hope for the widow's son, Boaz.
|
||
65. Yes, but we're standardizing on XML.
|
||
66. That doesn't fit into the MVC model.
|
||
67. Well, that's great if you have an AI running the thing.
|
||
68. Well, they're going to do that with the next version of Perl, so we should probably wait.
|
||
69. Well, they're going to do that with the next version of OS X, so we should probably wait.
|
||
70. I heard that the only real application for that technology was child pornography. How did you hear about it?
|
||
|
||
| ----- |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
![Over. End of Story. Go home now.][19]
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
[lurid@pigdog.org][20]
|
||
|
||
* * *
|
||
|
||
Please enable JavaScript to view the [comments powered by Disqus.][21] [comments powered by Disqus][22] | |
|
||
| | | |
|
||
|
||
| ![][23] |
|
||
| ![][24] | ![][25] | ![][26] |
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
| ----- |
|
||
| T O P S T O R I E S |
|
||
| [ ![][27] ][28] |
|
||
|
||
[Eavesdropping on Geeks: Music to Protest By][28]
|
||
by Flesh, Master Squid, Baron Earl, El Destino
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
| [ ![][29] ][30] |
|
||
|
||
[Pigdog Journal Annual Christmas Essay Contest RUNNER UP ESSAY][30]
|
||
by Lenny Tuberose
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
| [ ![][31] ][32] |
|
||
|
||
[Fear and Loathing on Planet Arkuat][32]
|
||
by Arkuat
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
| [ ![][33] ][34] |
|
||
|
||
[Fixer-Upper][34]
|
||
by Lenny Tuberose
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
![][35]
|
||
|
||
| ----- |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
12-28
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF][36] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
12-22
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [Devo's one and only Christmas song][37] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
12-04
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy][38] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
10-09
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"][39] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
07-05
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?][40] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
05-03
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [Ive Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth][41] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
05-03
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Baron Earl
|
||
|
||
| [Fyre Fest Lawsuit][42] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
05-03
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Baron Earl
|
||
|
||
| [US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms; at endangered ferrets][43] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
05-03
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Baron Earl
|
||
|
||
| [When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?][44] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
05-03
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"][45] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
03-31
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'][46] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
03-19
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk][47] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
01-26
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Flesh
|
||
|
||
| [Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.][48] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
08-01
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?][49] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
08-01
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?][50] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
04-25
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Daemon Agent
|
||
|
||
| [The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can][51] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
04-25
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Eugene Leitl
|
||
|
||
| [Beverage science at its finest][52] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
04-16
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
El Destino
|
||
|
||
| [YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat][53] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
04-09
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Baron Earl
|
||
|
||
| [Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal][54] |
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
04-07
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
Baron Earl
|
||
|
||
| [Commodore64 redux - now with Linux][55] |
|
||
|
||
[More Quickies...][56]
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Copyright © 1998-2016 Pigdog Journal
|
||
|
||
[1]: http://www.erowid.org/general/erowid_graphics/images/erowid_banner5.gif
|
||
[2]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/ulcorner.gif
|
||
[3]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/topborder.gif
|
||
[4]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/urcorner.gif
|
||
[5]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/leftborder.gif
|
||
[6]: http://www.pigdog.org/authors/cm_and_mb.html
|
||
[7]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/mr_bad_1.jpg
|
||
[8]: http://www.pigdog.org/categories/mr_bads_list.html
|
||
[9]: http://www.pigdog.org/index.html
|
||
[10]: http://www.pigdog.org/features_index.html
|
||
[11]: http://www.pigdog.org/columns_index.html
|
||
[12]: http://www.pigdog.org/category_index.html
|
||
[13]: http://www.pigdog.org/more_interviews.html
|
||
[14]: http://www.pigdog.org/more_reviews.html
|
||
[15]: http://www.pigdog.org/author_index.html
|
||
[16]: http://www.pigdog.org/archives.html
|
||
[17]: http://www.pigdog.org/search.html
|
||
[18]: cgi_bin/feedback.pl?article_id=1914
|
||
[19]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/PigDogTag.png
|
||
[20]: mailto:lurid%40pigdog.org
|
||
[21]: http://disqus.com/?ref_noscript
|
||
[22]: http://disqus.com
|
||
[23]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/rightborder.gif
|
||
[24]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/llcorner.gif
|
||
[25]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/bottomborder.gif
|
||
[26]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/lrcorner.gif
|
||
[27]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/musica.jpg
|
||
[28]: http://www.pigdog.org/auto/viva_la_musica/shortfeature/3166.html
|
||
[29]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/icons/christmas.jpg
|
||
[30]: http://www.pigdog.org/auto/sappy_christmas_shit/shortfeature/3164.html
|
||
[31]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/icons/powercorrupts.gif
|
||
[32]: http://www.pigdog.org/auto/Power_Corrupts/shortcolumn/3160.html
|
||
[33]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/icons/Enemy_Action.jpg
|
||
[34]: http://www.pigdog.org/auto/Enemy_Action/shortcolumn/3158.html
|
||
[35]: http://www.pigdog.org/images/quickies.jpg
|
||
[36]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqf1lhK2yjo
|
||
[37]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUKku3MhCPs
|
||
[38]: https://www.newsfromme.com/2017/11/22/david/
|
||
[39]: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/frank-sinatra-donald-trump-new-book-f-himself-revealed-casino-a7988666.html
|
||
[40]: http://gizmodo.com/jennicam-why-the-first-lifecaster-disappeared-from-the-1697712996
|
||
[41]: https://melmagazine.com/ive-made-millions-selling-fake-plastic-hillbilly-teeth-a87059610d96
|
||
[42]: https://apps.npr.org/documents/document.html?id=3688226-Fyre-Fest-Lawsuit
|
||
[43]: https://www.theverge.com/2016/7/12/12161792/ferret-candy-vaccine-drones-montana
|
||
[44]: http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/24/entertainment/kenny-g-concert-delta-airlines-trnd/
|
||
[45]: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/apr/21/tech-industry-coding-kentucky-hillbillies
|
||
[46]: http://variety.com/2017/film/news/william-shatner-romantic-comedy-senior-moment-1202011873/
|
||
[47]: https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/star-trek-themed-kirk-ransomware-brings-us-monero-and-a-spock-decryptor/
|
||
[48]: http://deadstate.org/woman-interrupts-alex-jones-tirade-you-actually-have-liquor-on-your-breath/
|
||
[49]: http://www.beyond-black-friday.com/2010/09/17/amazons-secret-incest-in-the-kindle-ad/
|
||
[50]: http://www.acceler8or.com/2011/08/slutwalk-take-back-the-night-and-evolutions-future-sluts/
|
||
[51]: http://drunkenscience.wordpress.com/
|
||
[52]: http://www.eecs.berkeley.edu/~gawalt/drunk/
|
||
[53]: http://tech.blorge.com/Structure:%20/2011/04/15/youtube-punishes-copyright-offenders-with-animated-pirate-cat/
|
||
[54]: http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2011/04/disturbing_polls?fsrc=scn/fb/wl/bl/smallgovernmentthennow
|
||
[55]: http://www.commodoreusa.net/CUSA_C64.aspx
|
||
[56]: http://www.pigdog.org/more_short_links.html
|
||
|