2018-02-23 18:58:03 +00:00
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---
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created_at: '2016-12-28T07:05:09.000Z'
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title: Linux (2003)
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url: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=linux
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author: setra
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points: 108
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story_text:
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comment_text:
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num_comments: 42
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story_id:
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story_title:
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story_url:
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parent_id:
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created_at_i: 1482908709
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_tags:
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- story
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- author_setra
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- story_13268944
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objectID: '13268944'
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2018-06-08 12:05:27 +00:00
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year: 2003
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2018-02-23 18:58:03 +00:00
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---
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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UNIX Airways
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Everyone brings one
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DOS
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Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let
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the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again,
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jump on again, and so on...
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Airlines
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All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and
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Windows Air
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The terminal is
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Windows NT Air
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like Windows Air, but costs more, uses
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Windows XP Air
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You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air
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planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three
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times as big as they need to be. The signs are
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Linux Air
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Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their
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own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the
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runways themselves. They charge a
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When you board the plane, you are given a seat,
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2018-02-23 18:19:40 +00:00
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...UNIX AirwaysEveryone brings one
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[piece](/define.php?term=piece) of the plane along when they come [to
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the](/define.php?term=to%20the) airport. They all go out on the runway
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and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what
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kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
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[Air](/define.php?term=Air) DOSEverybody pushes the airplane until it
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glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the
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ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
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[Mac](/define.php?term=Mac) AirlinesAll the stewards, captains, baggage
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handlers, and [ticket](/define.php?term=ticket) agents look and act
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exactly the same. Every [time](/define.php?term=time) you ask questions
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about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't
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[need](/define.php?term=need) to know, don't [want
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to](/define.php?term=want%20to) know, and everything
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[will](/define.php?term=will) be done for you without your ever having
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to know, so [just](/define.php?term=just) shut up.Windows AirThe
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terminal is [pretty](/define.php?term=pretty) and colourful, with
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friendly stewards, [easy](/define.php?term=easy) baggage
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[check](/define.php?term=check) and boarding, and a smooth take-off.
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After about 10 minutes in the [air](/define.php?term=air) , the plane
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explodes with no warning whatsoever.Windows NT Air
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[Just](/define.php?term=Just) like Windows Air, but costs more, uses
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[much](/define.php?term=much) bigger planes, and takes out all the other
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aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.Windows XP AirYou turn
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up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes.
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All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big
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as they need to be. The signs are [huge](/define.php?term=huge) and all
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[point](/define.php?term=point) the same way. Whichever way you go,
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someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed
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[hat](/define.php?term=hat) insisting you follow him. Your luggage and
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clothes are [taken](/define.php?term=taken) off you and replaced with an
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XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone
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[around](/define.php?term=around) you as this is included in the
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exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have
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signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be
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the same [Mickey Mouse](/define.php?term=Mickey%20Mouse) cartoon
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repeated over and over again. You have to
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[phone](/define.php?term=phone) your travel agent before you can have a
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meal or [drink](/define.php?term=drink) . You are searched regularly
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throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get
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charged for a [new](/define.php?term=new) ticket. No matter what
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destination you [booked](/define.php?term=booked) you will
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[always](/define.php?term=always) end up crash landing at Whistler in
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Canada.Linux AirDisgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines
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decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket
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counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a
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[small](/define.php?term=small) fee to cover the cost of printing the
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ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.When you
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board the plane, you are given a seat, [four](/define.php?term=four)
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bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the
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fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives
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on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You
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try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great
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[trip](/define.php?term=trip) , but all they can say is, "You had to do
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what with the seat?"
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