--- created_at: '2016-12-28T07:05:09.000Z' title: Linux (2003) url: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=linux author: setra points: 108 story_text: comment_text: num_comments: 42 story_id: story_title: story_url: parent_id: created_at_i: 1482908709 _tags: - story - author_setra - story_13268944 objectID: '13268944' year: 2003 --- UNIX Airways Everyone brings one DOS Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on... Airlines All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and Windows Air The terminal is Windows NT Air like Windows Air, but costs more, uses Windows XP Air You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are Linux Air Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a When you board the plane, you are given a seat, If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...UNIX AirwaysEveryone brings one [piece](/define.php?term=piece) of the plane along when they come [to the](/define.php?term=to%20the) airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. [Air](/define.php?term=Air) DOSEverybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on... [Mac](/define.php?term=Mac) AirlinesAll the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and [ticket](/define.php?term=ticket) agents look and act exactly the same. Every [time](/define.php?term=time) you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't [need](/define.php?term=need) to know, don't [want to](/define.php?term=want%20to) know, and everything [will](/define.php?term=will) be done for you without your ever having to know, so [just](/define.php?term=just) shut up.Windows AirThe terminal is [pretty](/define.php?term=pretty) and colourful, with friendly stewards, [easy](/define.php?term=easy) baggage [check](/define.php?term=check) and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the [air](/define.php?term=air) , the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.Windows NT Air [Just](/define.php?term=Just) like Windows Air, but costs more, uses [much](/define.php?term=much) bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.Windows XP AirYou turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are [huge](/define.php?term=huge) and all [point](/define.php?term=point) the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed [hat](/define.php?term=hat) insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are [taken](/define.php?term=taken) off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone [around](/define.php?term=around) you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same [Mickey Mouse](/define.php?term=Mickey%20Mouse) cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to [phone](/define.php?term=phone) your travel agent before you can have a meal or [drink](/define.php?term=drink) . You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a [new](/define.php?term=new) ticket. No matter what destination you [booked](/define.php?term=booked) you will [always](/define.php?term=always) end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.Linux AirDisgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a [small](/define.php?term=small) fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.When you board the plane, you are given a seat, [four](/define.php?term=four) bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great [trip](/define.php?term=trip) , but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"