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If Carpenters Were Hired Like Programmers

_Update (1/20/2013) - Out of nowhere this article got read a lot over the past couple of days. Some people liked it, some thought it was stupid, and some carpenters found it offensive to carpentry :). Again, I didn't write this, so I can't take credit for it. And it's also an analogy, so it's not going to be a perfect 1:1 mapping to carpentry (and I'm not a carpenter, so to carpenters out there...well, go yell at the person who wrote the joke in the first place if it doesn't fairly represent your industry!)_

The following joke was posted to an internal [Magenic][10] list. I don't know who actually wrote it, and I'll give credit if someone points out the creator of the joke. It perfectly illustrates what I think developers (especially consultants) have to go through all the time when they're interviewing for the next gig. 

Interviewer: So, you're a carpenter, are you?  
Carpenter: That's right, that's what I do.  
  
Interviewer: How long have you been doing it?  
Carpenter: Ten years.  
  
Interviewer: Great, that's good. Now, I have a few technical questions to ask you to see if you're a fit for our team. OK?  
Carpenter: Sure, that'd be fine.  
  
Interviewer: First of all, we're working in a subdivision building a lot of brown houses. Have you built a lot of brown houses before?  
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I build houses, and people pretty much paint them the way they want.  
  
Interviewer: Yes, I understand that, but can you give me an idea of how much experience you have with brown? Roughly.  
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know. Once they're built I don't care what color they get painted. Maybe six months?  
  
Interviewer: Six months? Well, we were looking for someone with a lot more brown experience, but let me ask you some more questions.  
Carpenter: Well, OK, but paint is paint, you know.  
  
Interviewer: Yes, well. What about walnut?  
Carpenter: What about it?  
  
Interviewer: Have you worked much with walnut?  
Carpenter: Sure, walnut, pine, oak, mahogony -- you name it.  
  
Interviewer: But how many years of walnut do you have?  
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know -- was I supposed to be counting the walnut?  
  
Interviewer: Well, estimate for me.  
Carpenter: OK, I'd say I have a year and a half of walnut.  
  
Interviewer: Would you say you're an entry level walnut guy or a walnut guru?  
Carpenter: A walnut guru? What's a walnut guru? Sure, I've used walnut.  
  
Interviewer: But you're not a walnut guru?  
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I've worked with all kinds of wood, you know, and there are some differences, but I think if you're a good carpenter ...  
  
Interviewer: Yes, yes, but we're using Walnut, is that OK?  
Carpenter: Walnut is fine! Whatever you want. I'm a carpenter.  
  
Interviewer: What about black walnut?  
Carpenter: What about it?  
  
Interviewer: Well we've had some walnut carpenters in here, but come to find out they weren't black walnut carpenters. Do you have black walnut experience?  
Carpenter: Sure, a little. It'd be good to have more for my resume, I suppose.  
  
Interviewer: OK. Hang on let me check off the box...  
Carpenter: Go right ahead.  
  
Interviewer: OK, one more thing for today. We're using Rock 5.1 to bang nails with. Have you used Rock 5.1?  
Carpenter: [Turning white...] Well, I know a lot of carpenters are starting to use rocks to bang nails with since Craftsman bought a quarry, but you know, to be honest I've had more luck with my nailgun. Or a hammer, for that matter. I find I hit my fingers too much with the rock, and my other hand hurts because the rock is so big.  
  
Interviewer: But other companies are using rocks. Are you saying rocks don't work?  
Carpenter: No, I'm not saying rocks don't work, exactly, it's just that I think nail guns work better.  
  
Interviewer: Well, our architects have all started using rocks, and they like it.  
Carpenter: Well, sure they do, but I bang nails all day, and -- well, look, I need the work, so I'm definitely willing to use rocks if you want. I try to keep an open mind.  
  
Interviewer: OK, well we have a few other candidates we're looking at, so we'll let you know.  
Carpenter: Well, thanks for your time. I enjoyed meeting you.  
  
NEXT DAY:  
  
Ring...  
  
Interviewer: Hello?  
Carpenter: Hello. Remember me, I'm the carpenter you interviewed for the black walnut job. Just wanted to touch base to see if you've made a decision.  
  
Interviewer: Actually, we have. We liked your experience overall, but we decided to go with someone who has done a lot of work with brown.  
Carpenter: Really, is that it? So I lost the job because I didn't have enough brown?  
  
Interviewer: Well, it was partly that, but partly we got the other fellow a lot cheaper.  
Carpenter: Really -- how much experience does he have?  
  
Interviewer: Well, he's not really a carpenter, he's a car salesman -- but he's sold a lot of brown cars and he's worked with walnut interiors.  
Carpenter: [click] 

* Posted at 10.13.2004 10:38:07 AM CST | [Link][11] *

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