2018-02-23 18:58:03 +00:00
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---
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created_at: '2011-04-02T13:40:10.000Z'
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title: Some rules kids won't learn in school (1996)
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url: http://www.ime.usp.br/~rbrito/teaching/mack/loo/interessante.html
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author: RiderOfGiraffes
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points: 82
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story_text: ''
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num_comments: 68
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created_at_i: 1301751610
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- story
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objectID: '2399875'
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---
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2018-02-23 18:19:40 +00:00
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[Source](https://www.ime.usp.br/~rbrito/teaching/mack/loo/interessante.html "Permalink to Some rules kinds won't learn in school")
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# Some rules kinds won't learn in school
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**From:** _glen@substance.abuse.blackdown.org_
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**Subject:** _Some rules kids won't learn in school._
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**To:** `0xdeadbeef@substance.abuse.blackdown.org`
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**Date:** _Fri, 06 Mar 1998 13:22:52 -0500_
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* * *
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Forwarded-by: Daniel Rogers <rogersd@nanaimo.island.net>
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Some rules kids won't learn in school
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Text By Charles J. Sykes
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Printed in San Diego Union Tribune
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September 19, 1996
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Unfortunately, there are some things that children should be learning in
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school, but don't. Not all of them have to do with academics. As a modest
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back-to-school offering, here are some basic rules that may not have found
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their way into the standard curriculum.
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Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the
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phrase, "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who
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said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation
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ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule
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No. 1.
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Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much
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as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you
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feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated
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self-esteem meets reality, kids complain it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)
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Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school.
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And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even
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have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.
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Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He
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doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's
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not going to ask you how you feel about it.
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Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grand-parents
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had a different word of burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They
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weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been
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embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.
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Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are
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responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the
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boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you
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turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a
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baby boomer.
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Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are
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now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and
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listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before
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you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents'
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generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.
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Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life
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hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get
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the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class
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valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as
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important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance
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to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4)
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Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers
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off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight
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hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.
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While we're at it, very few jobs are interesting in fostering your
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self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to
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self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)
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Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your
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problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials.
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In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs.
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Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.
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Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all
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could.
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Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic.
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Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his
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mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing
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yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.
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Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the
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impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is
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romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature
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lately.
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Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a
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bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it
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was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.
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You're welcome.
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