2018-02-23 18:58:03 +00:00
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---
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created_at: '2011-03-22T04:47:07.000Z'
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title: Foul-Mouthed Blogger Ted Dziuba Tells Why Most Startups Fail (2007)
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url: http://www.wired.com/techbiz/people/news/2007/10/dzubia_qa#
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author: helwr
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points: 41
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story_text: ''
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comment_text:
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num_comments: 15
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story_id:
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story_title:
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story_url:
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parent_id:
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created_at_i: 1300769227
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_tags:
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- story
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- author_helwr
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- story_2353159
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objectID: '2353159'
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2018-06-08 12:05:27 +00:00
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year: 2007
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2018-02-23 18:58:03 +00:00
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---
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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[![](https://www.wired.com/wp-content/uploads/archive/images/article/full/2007/10/ted_dziuba_500px.jpg)](https://www.wired.com/techbiz/people/news/2007/10/#)
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\* Photo: Julie Sloan \* There is a certain gentleness to most Web 2.0
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coverage. Even when startups sound flat-out dumb, we all root for the
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little guy.
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2018-02-23 18:19:40 +00:00
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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Not Ted Dziuba. He's the blogger behind [Uncov](http://www.uncov.com/),
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and he brutally dismisses most companies with a single word: Fail.
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2018-02-23 18:19:40 +00:00
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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Dziuba is the
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anti-[Arrington](https://www.wired.com/techbiz/people/magazine/15-07/ff_arrington).
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Of the startup Stixy, an online bulletin board, [he
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writes](http://www.uncov.com/2007/10/5/thanks-stixy-i-didn-t-need-that-browser-instance):
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"It's virtually the same product as Wixi, with virtually the same name.
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Don't get me wrong, both products are steaming shit heaps; it's just
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harder to tell them apart now."
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2018-02-23 18:19:40 +00:00
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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Of [LingoZ](http://www.lingoz.com/), a user-written dictionary, [he
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says](http://www.uncov.com/2007/10/3/what-s-a-cincinatti-bowtie): "These
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guys take themselves waaay too seriously to have a term like alligator
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fuckhouse in their lexicon. Now where's the fun in that?"
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The thing is, as scathing as he is hilarious, Dziuba tends to be
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spot-on. Strip away the bombast, and Dziuba is a guilty pleasure that's
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actually worth reading.
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Despite diagnosing Silicon Valley woes with the vinegar of a crotchety
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old man, Dziuba, it turns out, is only 23.
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After getting his math degree from the Rochester Institute of Technology
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in 2006, the Connecticut native spent a year at Google, He left to
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create his own startup, [Persai](http://www.persai.com/) (rhymes with
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Versailles) with college buddies and occasional Uncov bloggers Matt Kent
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and Kyle Shank.
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Persai, Dziuba says, will launch its first product – a sort of
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intelligent newsreader – in beta before the end of the year.
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With all the [debate over
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Bubble 2.0](https://www.wired.com/sterling/2007/09/print-is-dead-a.html),
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we figured whom better to ask than a critic whose tagline is "What. The.
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Fuck." Lord knows he isn't afraid to be honest. So we sat down with
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Dziuba at San Francisco's Caffe Centro, epicenter of Bubble 1.0, to talk
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about where Silicon Valley is still getting it wrong.
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**Wired News:** In your opinion, where is Web 2.0 going wrong?
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**TD:** What I'm seeing now with a lot of these Web 2.0 companies is
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that they're not based on technology, but on a dog-and-pony show. Under
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the surface, there's nothing noteworthy going on. The majority of them
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are just rolling the dice, and they know it. These are the people who
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will go to parties just to suck up to Arrington and say, "Hey come look
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at my startup. Please plug me." For these guys
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[TechCrunch](http://www.techcrunch.com/) is going to make or break the
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company. If you look at a company's traffic graph on
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[Alexa](http://www.alexa.com/) when it hits TechCrunch, there's a huge
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spike that day and then a month later it's down to almost nothing. In
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this world it's all about creating the buzz. It doesn't matter about
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revenues or profits. It's just about how many users you can get.
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**WN:** How do you personally differentiate between what's worthy and
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what isn’t?
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**TD:** You know you're a bullshit company when your core technology is
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Ajax. If the business is every widget under the sun conglomerated into
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this giant application, there's no real technology there. There's no
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noteworthy computer-science problem being solved. The Ajax stuff is
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pre-written. You just have to go to the libraries and put it all
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together.
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When Gmail came out – and Gmail is a pretty kick-ass product – it was
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like, "Ha\! Ajax for dynamic web apps\! We can use it for everything\!"
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So now you have companies like [Zoho](http://www.zoho.com/), for
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example. Their sole goal is to take every desktop app that ever existed
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and reimplement it in Ajax with no added features or functionality. It
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irritates me as an engineer that companies with no engineering merit,
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first off, are getting funded and, second off, are getting bought out.
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**WN:** Why aren't more Silicon Valley bloggers trashing startups?
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**TD:** I'm guessing they don't want to piss off advertisers. Or it
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would illegitimize them as a blogger to say something remotely critical
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of someone. The whole scene is like a little league game where
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everyone's a winner and everyone gets a trophy at the end. You've got
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people like Michael Arrington and Robert Scoble who are the coaches of
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the team and handing out the trophies, and then Uncov is like the creepy
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guy in the trench coat sitting in the stands.
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People accuse us of saying negative stuff to get traffic. Honestly, I
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don't give a shit about the traffic. People could stop coming tomorrow.
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Great\! I don't have to satisfy you vultures anymore. We don't have ads,
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although we're talking to a couple advertisers now because we have to
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cover our hosting costs. But it's by no means a profit center.
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**WN:** Where do you stand on the whole "Bubble 2.0" issue? Is the
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bottom going to fall out?
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\_\_TD: \_\_ It's going to happen slowly over time. It's not going to be
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like the first dot-com crash where the sky was falling within a month,
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only because it's all private-equity deals. There have been very few
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IPOs.
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Google didn't do the world any favors when it overpaid so much for
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YouTube. That set off a surge in the expected value of a startup. A lot
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of people think that if you put $10,000 into enough of these, eventually
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one will pay off. But this whole thing is eventually going to cave in on
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itself. All these companies will keep getting bought up, but the
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acquirers are not going to see great returns.
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**WN:** We've talked a lot about what you don't like. What types of
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companies do you like?
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**TD:** Things that have actual technology behind them. Take
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[Joost](http://www.joost.com/), for example. That is a really cool
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program, because the company spent a lot of time working on the quality
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of the picture. It looks really good. It also has exclusive content from
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big-name providers like Comedy Central that's actually worth watching.
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It's not a guy riding his bike into a tree on YouTube. Going out and
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getting licensing deals for content is hard work, and I'm pretty sure
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they're going to be well-rewarded for it.
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**WN:** What did you do during the year you were at Google?
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**TD:** I worked on internal apps. I got bored pretty quickly there and
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left to do something interesting.
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**WN:** That's my cue. Tell me about Persai.
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**TD:** The three of us are doing a company based around machine
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learning and artificial intelligence on an unreasonably large scale. We
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essentially want to automate the understanding of all the information in
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the world.
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**WN:** (Pause.) What?
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**TD:** We want to build machine programs that can learn things from
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information that's out there on the web. In the first application we'll
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come out with, you tell us things that you're interested in, and we'll
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continuously go out and find stuff on the internet that's related to
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that. There's a positive feedback loop where you tell us what you like
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and don't, so the machine gets progressively better in learning what you
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like.
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**WN:** Is it going to be like, "I like unicorns; give me news about
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unicorns"? That sounds like a search engine.
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**TD:** Search engine implies somebody's actively going out and looking
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for information. We're more passive than that. It's more like a
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newsreader. It's like you have some time to burn, so you go to Digg and
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see what the top headlines are. In that same style, except you take the
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community part completely out and leave all of it up to a machine.
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**WN:** That's the opposite of what's trendy right now.
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**TD:** Exactly. We're hoping that the tenet of "automation is key"
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still holds.
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**WN:** Valleywag has commented that your ad-free blog is something of a
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bait and switch – build up attention without monetizing it and then
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introduce your for-profit startup.
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**TD:** We're pretty good friends with the Valleywag people, so we bust
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each other's balls all the time. We all recognize that it's just the
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internet. At the end of the day you still go outside and nobody knows
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who you are. Valleywag is like Uncov: We both force people not to take
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themselves too seriously.
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**WN:** Well, I hope you don't fail.
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**TD:** Yeah, I hope so, too.
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[Beyond Ramen: A Cookbook for
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Entrepreneurs](https://www.wired.com/techbiz/startups/news/2007/07/cookbook)
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[How Madison Avenue Is Wasting Millions on a Deserted Second
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Life](https://www.wired.com/techbiz/media/magazine/15-08/ff_sheep)
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[TechCrunch Blogger Michael Arrington Can Generate Buzz ... and
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Cash](https://www.wired.com/techbiz/people/magazine/15-07/ff_arrington)
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