2018-02-23 18:58:03 +00:00
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---
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created_at: '2017-08-26T02:33:03.000Z'
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title: 'Destroy All Monsters: A Journey into the Caverns of Dungeons and Dragons (2006)'
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url: http://www.believermag.com/issues/200609/?read=article_lafarge
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author: smacktoward
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points: 147
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story_text:
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comment_text:
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num_comments: 49
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story_id:
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story_title:
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story_url:
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parent_id:
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created_at_i: 1503714783
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_tags:
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- story
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- author_smacktoward
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- story_15103743
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objectID: '15103743'
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2018-06-08 12:05:27 +00:00
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year: 2006
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2018-02-23 18:58:03 +00:00
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---
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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PAUL LA FARGE
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2018-02-23 18:19:40 +00:00
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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DISCUSSED: Basements as Dungeons, Middle-earth, War Games, Moral
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Clarity, Vin Diesel, Biological Determinism, Death by Misadventure,
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Freaks & Geeks, Tom Hanks, Castration Anxiety, Satanism, The Pantheon of
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Cool Dangers, The Buck Rogers Fortune, Cthulhu Calamari, Tom Waits, The
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Holy Scriptures, Orson Welles
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2018-02-23 18:19:40 +00:00
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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# NOTE TO THE READER
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2018-02-23 18:19:40 +00:00
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2018-03-03 09:35:28 +00:00
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This article is divided into two parts: a manual and a scenario. The
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first part, the manual, is an exposition of the game Dungeons & Dragons:
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what it is, how it’s played, how it came to be, and how it came to be
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popular, at least, in certain circles. If you once played D\&D yourself
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(no need to admit that you played a lot, or that you still play), you
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may want to skim the [manual](#manual), or turn directly to the
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[scenario](#scenario), which is an account of a trip my friend Wayne and
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I took last spring to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, in order to fulfill a wild
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and uncool dream: to play D\&D with E. Gary Gygax, the man who invented
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the game (more or less: see below). If it isn’t immediately clear why
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this would be an interesting, or, to be frank, a fantastically exciting
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and at the same time a curiously sad thing to do: well then, you’d
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better start with the manual.
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**THE MANUAL**
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# 1.0 OUTSIDE THE CAVE
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You are standing outside the entrance to a dark and gloomy cave. If you
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are anything like me, you have been here many, many times before. It
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isn’t always the same cave: Once it was a “cave-like opening, somewhat
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obscured by vegetation,” which led to the mystical Caverns of
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Quasqueton; another time it was the Wizard’s Mouth, a fissure in the
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side of an active volcano (“This cave actually seems to breathe,
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exhaling a cloud of steam and then slowly inhaling, like a man breathing
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on a cold day”). Once it was a passage from the throne room of Snurre,
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the Fire Giant King, “extending endlessly under the earth.” Once,
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memorably, the “cave” was made of metal: it was the outer airlock of a
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spaceship which had crash-landed in the crags of the Barrier
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Peaks.\[[1](#footnote1)\] You don’t know what lies in that darkness, but
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you have heard rumors: there are troglodytes, dark elves, a long-dead
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wizard, terrible creatures, treasure. You are here to learn the truth.
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So strike a light: you’re going in.
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If you are not between the ages of eighteen and forty-five, or if you
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happen to be a woman, you may not know what Dungeons & Dragons is,
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exactly, or why you would want to get involved with it, even in the
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context of an essay in a respectable magazine such as this one. This
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introduction is for you, although, as it turns out, neither question is
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easy to answer from outside the cave. TSR Hobbies, the company that used
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to make D\&D,\[[2](#footnote2)\] once wrote a brochure for hobby-store
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owners, in which they tried to explain what they were selling:
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> While one of the participants creates the whole world in which the
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> adventures are to take place, the balance of the players—as few as two
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> or as many as a dozen or more—create “characters” who will travel
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> about in this make-believe world, interact with its peoples, and seek
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> the fabulous treasures of magic and precious items guarded by dragons,
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> giants, werewolves, and hundreds of other fearsome things. The game
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> organizer, the participant who creates the whole and moderates these
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> adventures, is known as the Dungeon Master, or DM. The other players
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> have personae—fighters, magic-users, thieves, clerics, elves, dwarves,
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> or what have you—who are known as player characters. Player characters
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> have known attributes which are initially determined by rolling the
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> dice… These attributes help to define the role and limits of each
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> character… There is neither an end to the game nor any winner. Each
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> session of play is merely an episode in an ongoing
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> “world.”\[[3](#footnote3)\]
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This is what the cave sounds like when it speaks to outsiders: its
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diction is erudite and occasionally awkward (“treasures of magic”); it
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uses game terms as though their meaning will be obvious (what are
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attributes?); it raises as many questions as it answers. You who have
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never played could be forgiven for asking, what are the rules of D\&D?
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If no one wins, how do you know if you’re playing well? Where’s the
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board? OK, listen up: there is no board. You play a character, as in
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theater, though you don’t usually act out your character’s words or
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deeds. Rather, you communicate about your character with other players
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and with the Dungeon Master, whose job is to speak for the world. You
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tell the Dungeon Master what you do; someone rolls some dice; the DM
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tells you what happens. Together you tell a story: a fantasy epic à la
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Tolkien or whomever you will; or rather, given that the game has no
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natural end, maybe we should call it a fantasy soap opera. Imagine for a
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moment that Adam and Brian are players, and Charlie is the DM. Their
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story might go like this:
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> CHARLIE: OK, you guys have just entered the mystical Caverns of
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> Quasqueton. You’re in a 10-foot-wide corridor, which leads to a large
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> wooden door.
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>
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> ADAM: I’m going to open the door.
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>
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> CHARLIE: Just like that?
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>
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> ADAM: OK, maybe not. Brian, have your elf check the door.
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>
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> BRIAN: Don’t tell my elf what to do. \[Pause.\] My elf checks the
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> door.
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>
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> CHARLIE: \[Rolls dice.\] It appears to be a normal door.
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What may remain obscure, even now, is why people would choose to play
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D\&D, all night, night after night, for years.\[[4](#footnote4)\] Why
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intelligent human beings would find the actions of imaginary fighters,
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thieves, dwarves, elves, etc., as they move through a space that exists
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only notionally, and consists more often than not of dimly lit
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corridors, ruined halls, and big, damp caves, more compelling than books
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or movies or television, or sleep, or social acceptance, or sex. In
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short, what’s so great about Dungeons & Dragons?
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# 2.0 THE HARLOT
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ENCOUNTER TABLE
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The appeal of D\&D is superficially not very different from the appeal
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of reading. You start outside something (Middle Earth; Dickens’s London;
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the fascinating world of mosses and lichens), and you go in, bit by bit.
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You forget where you are, what time it is, and what you were doing.
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Along the way, you may have occasion to think, to doubt, or even to
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learn. Then you come back; your work has piled up; it’s past your
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bedtime; people may wonder what you have been doing.
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Once you set foot inside the cave, however, you see very quickly that
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D\&D is quite different from a book, or movie, or soap opera. For one
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thing, there are a lot more rules. I remember opening the Basic D\&D
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rulebook—I was eight years old—and coming to the “Table of Bonus and
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Penalties Due to Abilities,” which begins,
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Prime requisite 15 or more add 10% to earned experience Prime requisite
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13-14 add 5% to earned experience Prime requisite 9-12 no bonus
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By reading the accompanying text, I figured out that my character’s
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abilities—his strength, his intelligence, his wisdom or lack thereof,
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and so on—were each determined by rolling three six-sided dice, and that
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the “prime requisite” was the ability my character needed to do what he
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did (a fighter’s prime requisite is strength; a magic-user’s is
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intelligence, etc.). It would be several pages before I understood that
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“earned experience” referred to the experience points a character
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earns for killing monsters and amassing treasure, and which regulate his
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promotion to ever-greater levels of power and ability. And I remember
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how, as the meaning of these terms became clear, my bewilderment yielded
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to delight. The rules guaranteed the reality of the game-world (how
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could anything with so many rules not be real?), and, if they were hard
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to understand, at least they were written out, guessable and debatable,
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unlike the implicit, arbitrary, and often malign rules that people live
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by in the actual world.
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D\&D is a game for people who like rules: in order to play even the
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basic game, you had to make sense of roughly twenty pages of
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instructions, which cover everything from “Adjusting Ability Scores”
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(“Magic-users and clerics can reduce their strength scores by 3 points
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and add 1 to their prime requisite”) to “Who Gets the First Blow?” (“The
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character with the highest dexterity strikes first”). In fact, as I
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wandered farther into the cave, and acquired the rulebooks for Advanced
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Dungeons & Dragons, I found that there were rules for everything: what
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kind of monsters you could meet in fresh water, what kind you could meet
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in salt water, what wise men knew, what happened when you mixed two
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magic potions together. If you happened to meet a harlot in the game,
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you could roll two twenty-sided dice and consult a table which told you
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what kind of harlot it was.\[[5](#footnote5)\] It would be a mistake to
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think of these rules as an impediment to enjoying the game. Rather, the
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rules are a necessary condition for enjoying the game, and this is true
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whether you play by them or not. The rules induct you into the world of
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D\&D; they are the long, difficult scramble from the mouth of the cave
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to the first point where you can stand up and look
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around.\[[6](#footnote6)\]
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# 2.1 THE INVENTION OF
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DUNGEONS & DRAGONS
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D\&D gets its appetite for rules from wargames, which have been around
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for thousands of years. The modern war game began in the late eighteenth
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century, when a certain Helwig, the Master of Pages to the German Duke
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of Brunswick, invented something called “War Chess”: instead of rooks
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and knights and pawns it featured cavalry, artillery and infantry;
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instead of castling it had rules for entrenchment and pontoons. The
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Prussians adapted Helwig’s game to train their officers; the French
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learned the value of wargames the hard way in 1870. In 1913, when the
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Prussians were again rattling their sabers, the British writer H. G.
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Wells came up with a game called Little Wars, which was played on a
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tabletop, with miniature lead or tin soldiers. Then, in 1958, a fellow
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named Charles Roberts founded the Avalon Hill game company, and
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published a board game based on the battle of Gettysburg. Gettysburg and
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its successors were wildly popular; all over America, college students
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and other maladjusted types began to recreate, in their dorms and
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basements and family rooms, the great battles of history.
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One of these enthusiasts was a high-school dropout named Ernest Gary
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Gygax. In the late 1960s, Gygax was living in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin,
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where he worked as an insurance underwriter. He was married to a Lake
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Geneva girl and had four children, but he remained an active gamer:
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together with a couple of friends, Gygax founded the grandly named
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International Federation of Wargaming, the Castles & Crusades Society,
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for medieval war gamers, and the Lake Geneva Tactical Studies
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Association, which met weekly in his basement. In the course of these
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meetings, he became friendly with a hobby-shop owner named Jeff Perren,
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and they co-authored a set of rules for medieval miniatures
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combat,\[[7](#footnote7)\] called Chainmail, which was published in
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1971.
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Meanwhile, up in Minneapolis, a student named Dave Arneson was running
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Napoleonic miniatures games in his parents’ basement.\[[8](#footnote8)\]
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Arneson got a copy of the Chainmail rules; only it turned out that
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medieval miniatures combat wasn’t very exciting,\[[9](#footnote9)\] and
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Arneson and his fellow gamers looked for a way to spice it up. A fellow
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named Dave Wesley gave each player a personal goal: now the figurine on
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the table represented Sir So-and-So, and he had a rudimentary
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personality. This was the dawn of tabletop role-playing. Then Arneson
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issued a Star Trek phaser to a druid, much to the disgust of the other
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players: this was the dawn of tabletop fantasy role-playing, although no
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one seemed to realize it yet.\[[10](#footnote10)\] The phaser wasn’t
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enough; Arneson spent a weekend eating popcorn and reading Conan novels,
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and at the end of it, he had an idea. The next time the Napoleonic
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miniatures people showed up in the Arnesons’ basement, they found a
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model of a castle on the sand table. They thought it was going to be
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some place in Poland, which they would storm or defend. Then Arneson
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told them that they were looking at the ruined castle of the Barony of
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Blackmoor, and that they were going to have to go into the dungeons and
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poke around. The Napoleonic miniatures people weren’t thrilled; they
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would have preferred to storm the castle. But they agreed to poke
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around. And around, and around.
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In the fall of 1972, Arneson visited Lake Geneva and introduced Gygax to
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Blackmoor. Gygax liked the game, and he and Arneson worked together to
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develop a publishable version of the rules. The first edition of
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Dungeons & Dragons appeared in 1974. Gygax and his business partners,
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Don Kaye and Brian Blume, assembled the sets by hand in Gygax’s
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basement:\[[11](#footnote11)\] they put stickers on the boxes, collated
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the rulebooks, folded the reference sheets. Even so, they didn’t know
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what they had on their hands. They called D\&D “rules for fantastic
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medieval wargames,” and Gygax hoped to sell 50,000 copies, that being
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the approximate size of the wargaming market. At first, D\&D seemed
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unlikely to meet even these modest expectations. It took eleven months
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for Tactical Studies Rules, which is what Gygax, Kaye and Blume called
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their partnership, to sell out the first thousand copies. But news of
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the game was traveling by word of mouth, from hobby shops to college
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dorms, from dorms to high schools. People called Gygax in the middle of
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the night to quiz him about the rules. The second thousand copies, also
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hand-assembled, sold in six months, and from then on sales increased
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exponentially. In 1975, Tactical Studies Rules incorporated and changed
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its name to TSR Hobbies; in 1979, the company sold 7,000 copies of the
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D\&D Basic Set each month. Their gross income for 1980 was $4.2 million.
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# 3.0 I’M A FIFTH-LEVEL
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DARK ELF WITH A
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\+2 SWORD.\[[12](#footnote12)\]
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What set D\&D apart from its cousins, the war games, was, first of all,
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the thrill of “being” someone else. In 30 Years of Adventure: A
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Celebration of Dungeons & Dragons, a volume published in 2004 by Wizards
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of the Coast, celebrity gamer Vin Diesel remembers his twin brother
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selling him on D\&D with the line that “\[it’s\] a game that allows you
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to be anyone you want to be….” Games designer Harold Johnson heard from
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a friend: “It’s a fantasy game. You get to play knights and wizards,
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clerics and thieves.” The appeal isn’t hard to understand, especially if
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“being” yourself isn’t all that much fun: if you are, say, a bookish
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adolescent male with few social skills and no magical powers to speak
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of.\[[13](#footnote13)\] What’s more, D\&D offers its players a moral
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clarity rarely found in the real world: your character has an alignment;
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he or she can be good or evil, lawful or chaotic. Most players choose
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good; the paladin, a virtuous knight with magical powers, is a perennial
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favorite, although the evil-leaning dark elf is also popular.
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In practice, though, the transformation of player into character often
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turns out to be cosmetic: the fearless paladin and the sexy dark elf
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both sound and act a lot like a thirteen-year-old boy named Ted. And
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what Ted likes to do, mostly, is kill anything that crosses his path.
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It’s little wonder that Dungeons & Dragons was uncool in the 1970s and
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’80s. Under the guise of role-playing, the game condoned behaviors that
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would get you ostracized (or worse) if you tried them in the real world.
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The dungeon adventures which were the game’s mainstay in the early ’70s
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had only two objectives: destroy all the monsters, and get all the
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treasure.\[[14](#footnote14)\] Circa 1978, Gary Gygax wrote and
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published a series of adventures with a narrative arc: the characters
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begin by taking on a hill giant, and they are gradually drawn into the
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underground world of the Drow, or dark elves, one of Gygax’s best-loved
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creations. The story was compelling to the people who played the
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adventures, but this may have had less to do with its complexity than
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with the fact that there was a story at all. In any case, the ins and
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outs of Drow society only slightly mitigated the game’s
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bloody-mindedness; instead of destroying all monsters, the wise course
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now was to destroy some monsters.\[[15](#footnote15)\]
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Women in the game—female players, female “non-player characters” who
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turned up in bars and dungeon cells—fared little better. Gary Alan Fine,
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a sociologist who published a book-length study of fantasy role-playing
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games in 1983, reported that “in theory, female characters can be as
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powerful as males; in practice, they are often treated as chattels.”
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Indeed, one of the players Fine observed\[[16](#footnote16)\] reported
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that he didn’t like playing with women, because they inhibited his
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friends’ natural tendency to rape the (imaginary) women they met
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in-game:
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> Because a lot of people I know go in and pick up a woman and just walk
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> off…. Some people get a little carried away and rape other people….
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> Well, I’ve seen a lot of players just calm down because of
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> \[females\].\[[17](#footnote17)\]
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You will not be surprised to learn that, in one 1978 survey of fantasy
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role-playing gamers, only 2.3 percent of respondents were female; in
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another, only 0.4 percent. Nor did TSR, in the early days, do much to
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remedy this situation (I recall a print ad for D\&D, in which a tweenage
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girl is pictured playing with some boys, and enjoying herself: now that
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was a fantasy, I thought), perhaps because Gygax is a self-avowed
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biological determinist who believes that “women’s brains are wired
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differently… the reason they don’t play is that they’re not interested
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in playing.”
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# 3.1 THIS IS B.A.D.D.
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In 1979, an average of 6,839 young men were picking up Dungeons &
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Dragons each month: sooner or later there was bound to be trouble. And
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sure enough, that same year, a Michigan State student named James Dallas
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Egbert III disappeared after a game of D\&D. The thing was, Egbert and
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his friends weren’t just rolling dice and moving lead miniatures around
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on a card table; they had been acting out their characters’ exploits in
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the university’s steam tunnels. It seemed possible that the game had
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gone too far, and that Egbert had been killed, or died by misadventure.
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A few weeks later, Egbert turned up in Morgan City, Louisiana, and
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revealed that D\&D had nothing to do with his disappearance, but the
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case caused a sensation. The private investigator hired to find Egbert
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published a faintly lurid book called The Dungeon Master, which inspired
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a lurid novel called Mazes and Monsters, which inspired a made-for-TV
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movie of the same name, starring Tom Hanks. Meanwhile, in Washington
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state, a seventeen-year-old boy shot himself in the head. Witnesses said
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that he had been trying to summon “D\&D demons” just minutes before his
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death. Was Dungeons & Dragons a blood sport? Was it a gateway to
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Satanism? A woman named Pat Pulling, whose son, a D\&D player, had also
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committed suicide, started an organization called Bothered About
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Dungeons and Dragons, or, yes, B.A.D.D., and before long D\&D had joined
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a pantheon of mostly cooler or at least more authentically dangerous
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phenomena which were said to be corrupting America’s youth: marijuana,
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rock and roll, free love, LSD, heavy metal.
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Even from the point of view of a teenage boy who would have liked
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nothing better than to be corrupted by any of the phenomena listed
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above, if corrupted meant meeting girls or even just getting out of the
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house, the furore over D\&D was hard to understand. Didn’t the grown-ups
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understand what losers we were? That all we did was roll dice and shout
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and stuff our faces with snacks? Evidently not: in 1989, Bill
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Schnoebelen, a reformed Milwaukee Satanist, wrote an article called
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“Straight Talk on Dungeons and Dragons,” which can still be found on
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Chick Ministries’ website.\[[18](#footnote18)\] He listed the
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“brainwashing techniques” which D\&D uses to lure its players into the
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devil’s world, among which are:
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> 1. Fear generation—via spells and mental imaging about fear-filled,
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> emotional scenes, and threats to survival of FRP \[fantasy
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> role-playing\] characters.
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>
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> 2. Isolation—psychological removal from traditional support
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> structures (family, church, etc.) into an imaginary world.
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> Physical isolation due to extremely time-consuming play activities
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> outside the family atmosphere.
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>
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> 3. Physical torture and killings—images in the mind can be almost as
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> real as the actual experiences. Focus of the games is upon
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> killings and torture for power, acquisition of wealth, and
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> survival of characters.
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>
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> 4. Erosion of family values—the Dungeon Master (DM) demands an
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> all-encompassing and total loyalty, control and allegiance.
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Most of which is, of course, true, though I’d quibble at Schnoebelen’s
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emphasis on torture—usually it was enough for us to kill the monsters
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without torturing them first—and at the logic of No. 4: the DM could
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demand total loyalty as much as he wanted, but he was unlikely to get it
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from us; we were too busy finding ways to reduce his creation to rubble,
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or eating ice cream. But the mention of “spells” in No. 1 is bizarre.
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Did Schnoebelen think that the players were actually capable of working
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magic? Further study of his article suggests that he did. “Just because
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the people playing D\&D think they are playing a game doesn’t mean that
|
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|
the evil spirits (who ARE very real) will regard it as a game. If you
|
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|
are doing rituals or saying spells that invite them into your life, then
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they will come—believe me\!”\[[19](#footnote19)\] This was every
|
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|
|
player’s fantasy: that the magic in the game would work, that we would
|
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|
become our characters, for real, and be rid once and for all of our
|
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|
lowball ability scores, our pathetic skills, our humdrum real-life
|
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|
equipment. If wishing, or talking, or even praying could have made it
|
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so, then there would have been a lot of dark elves out there,
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brandishing their +2 swords, and—perhaps the people at Chick Ministries
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|
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will find this reassuring—a lot of paladins, too, curing us of our
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|
|
diseases, protecting us from evil within a ten-foot radius.
|
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|
|
Despite a near-total absence of evidence linking D\&D to Satanism, or
|
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|
|
magic, or anything, really, except obesity and lower-back pain, Pat
|
|
|
|
|
Pulling and Gary Gygax appeared on a special investigative episode of 60
|
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|
|
Minutes, which left viewers with the impression that there was “strong
|
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|
|
evidence” that Dungeons & Dragons could inspire teenagers to kill
|
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|
|
themselves, or each other. Gygax started getting death threats in the
|
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|
|
mail, and he hired a bodyguard. Yet notoriety had its advantages: in
|
|
|
|
|
1981, with the Egbert case still fresh in the public’s mind, TSR’s
|
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|
|
|
revenues quadrupled, to $16.5 million.
|
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|
|
# 3.1.1 A FURTHER
|
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|
|
NOTE ON RITUAL
|
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|
|
As silly as Schnoebelen’s fears may sound to us now, he did get one
|
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|
|
thing right: Dungeons & Dragons is not a game. The French anthropologist
|
|
|
|
|
Claude Lévi-Strauss notes that “Games… appear to have a disjunctive
|
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|
|
effect: they end in the establishment of a difference between individual
|
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|
|
players or teams where originally there was no indication of inequality.
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|
|
And at the end of the game they are distinguished into winners and
|
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|
|
losers.” Which is, as noted above, not true of D\&D: “there is neither
|
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|
|
an end to the game nor any winner.” But if D\&D isn’t a game, then what
|
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|
|
is it, exactly? One theorist of fantasy role-playing games proposes,
|
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|
|
|
following Lévi-Strauss, that D\&D is, in the strict sense of the term, a
|
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|
|
ritual. “Ritual, on the other hand,” this is Lévi-Strauss again, “is the
|
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|
|
exact inverse: it conjoins, for it brings about a union... or in any
|
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|
|
case an organic relation between two initially separate
|
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|
|
groups….”\[[20](#footnote20)\] D\&D conjoins: this is not the first
|
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|
|
thing you notice when you enter the cave; nor is it mentioned very often
|
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|
|
by the game’s recruiters (or by its detractors), who prefer to talk
|
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|
|
about killing and money and other things the uninitiated can understand.
|
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|
|
And yet it is an essential feature of the game—ritual—whatever you want
|
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|
|
to call it. Adam’s fighter may be more powerful than Brian’s elf, but if
|
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|
the fighter kills the elf, or even pisses him off seriously, who will
|
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|
|
find the secret door? In order to get very far in the cave, the players
|
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|
|
|
need to work together.\[[21](#footnote21)\] Which would make D\&D not
|
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|
|
very different from any other team sport, if there were another team;
|
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|
|
but there isn’t. The remarkable thing about D\&D is that everyone has to
|
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|
|
play together. Even the DM, who plays all the monsters and villains, has
|
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|
|
to cooperate; if he doesn’t—if he kills the entire party of adventurers,
|
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|
|
or requires players not to cheat on life-or-death dice rolls—the chances
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|
that he will be invited to run another session are small.
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|
Here I am tempted to advance a wild argument. It goes like this: in a
|
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|
|
society that conditions people to compete, and rewards those who compete
|
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|
|
successfully, Dungeons & Dragons is countercultural; its project, when
|
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|
|
you think about it in these terms, is almost
|
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|
|
utopian.\[[22](#footnote22)\] Show people how to have a good time, a
|
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|
|
mind-blowing, life-changing, all-night-long good
|
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|
time,\[[23](#footnote23)\] by cooperating with each other\! And perhaps
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|
|
D\&D is socially unacceptable because it encourages its players to drop
|
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|
|
out of the world of competition, in which the popular people win, and to
|
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|
|
tune in to another world, where things work differently, and everyone
|
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|
|
wins (or dies) together. You will object that a group of teenage boys
|
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|
|
|
slaughtering orcs and raping women doesn’t sound like utopia. Granted.
|
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|
|
But among teenage boys whose opportunities for social interaction were
|
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|
|
otherwise not great, D\&D was like a door opening. Forget for a moment
|
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|
|
that behind the door there were mostly monsters and darkness. For us,
|
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|
|
for the people who played, what waited behind that door was a world, and
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|
|
the world belonged to us. We could live in it as we really were; we
|
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|
|
could argue about its rules; we could learn how, by working together, to
|
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|
|
get the better of it. For some of us it was a lesson: the real world
|
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|
|
could, on occasion, and by similar means, be bested. For others of us,
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|
|
who never really left the game: at least we had a world.
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|
In fact, the ability to function in another world may be the game’s most
|
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|
|
important legacy. D\&D provided a conceptual framework for some of the
|
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|
|
most popular computer games of the 1980s: Wizardry, Ultima, and Zork all
|
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|
|
involve poking around in dungeons and slaying monsters. Wizardry begat
|
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|
Wolfenstein 3D, Wolfenstein begat Doom, Doom begat Quake, and Quake
|
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|
|
begat Halo: it may be an exaggeration to say that these games could
|
|
|
|
|
never have existed without Dungeons & Dragons, but D\&D certainly showed
|
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|
|
a lot of people what kind of fun they could have by participating in a
|
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|
|
virtual reality. The game’s influence is even clearer on the massively
|
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|
|
|
multiplayer online role-playing games: Everquest, Ultima Online, World
|
|
|
|
|
of Warcraft, and D\&D Online, which made its début early this year.
|
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|
|
Almost every aspect of the old tabletop game has been recreated in these
|
|
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|
|
pretty, expensive beasts, except the pleasure of being in the same room
|
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|
|
with other human beings. Perhaps the people who spend thirty hours a
|
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|
|
|
week playing World of Warcraft, the people who used to buy and sell
|
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|
|
Everquest magic items for real dollars on eBay, and the people who buy
|
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|
|
|
online characters that have been “leveled up” by workers in the Third
|
|
|
|
|
World, don’t miss the companionship. D\&D taught us to live in an
|
|
|
|
|
imaginary place—a literal utopia—and if that place is engrossing enough,
|
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|
|
what does it matter if there are other people in your living room or
|
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|
|
|
not? And yet it sounds lonely to me. The great thing about
|
|
|
|
|
old-fashioned, paper-and-pencil D\&D was that it straddled the virtual
|
|
|
|
|
world and the real one: when the game was over, the dungeons and dragons
|
|
|
|
|
went back to their notebooks, but you got to keep your friends.
|
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|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# 4.0 DADDY NEEDS A NEW
|
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|
|
SWORD OF WOUNDING
|
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|
|
Even now, more than thirty years after its invention, people are still
|
|
|
|
|
playing Dungeons & Dragons. Not quite the game I played as a child: a
|
|
|
|
|
Second Edition appeared in 1989; it tidied up the hodgepodge of rules
|
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|
|
which Advanced D\&D had become, stripped the paladin of many of his
|
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|
|
|
powers, and was duly reviled by most old-school players. By then, Gygax
|
|
|
|
|
had lost control of TSR; he was replaced by Lorraine Dille Williams, the
|
|
|
|
|
heiress to the Buck Rogers fortune.\[[24](#footnote24)\] Williams was
|
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|
|
not generally beloved by those who worked under her; nonetheless, the
|
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|
|
|
company managed to publish some good material: the Goth-y Ravenloft
|
|
|
|
|
campaign setting, the killer Return to the Tomb of Horrors, and a number
|
|
|
|
|
of successful fantasy novels. But the market for the game had stopped
|
|
|
|
|
growing. Everyone who was going to buy the rulebooks had already done
|
|
|
|
|
so; in order to keep selling its products to gamers, TSR had to come up
|
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|
|
with new rulebooks. Thus we got, among other things, The Complete Book
|
|
|
|
|
of Gnomes & Halflings, 127 pages on “The Myths of the Halflings,” “A
|
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|
|
|
Typical Gnomish Village,” etc.
|
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|
|
|
|
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|
|
Meanwhile, TSR spent a lot of money pursuing licensing deals and
|
|
|
|
|
starting lawsuits, several of them against Gygax, to protect its
|
|
|
|
|
copyrights. Changes in the bookselling industry further eroded the
|
|
|
|
|
company’s revenues; TSR went deeply into debt, and in 1997 Williams sold
|
|
|
|
|
the company to Wizards of the Coast, which was best known for a
|
|
|
|
|
collectible card game called Magic: The Gathering. In 2000, Wizards
|
|
|
|
|
published a third edition of Dungeons & Dragons, which systematized what
|
|
|
|
|
had been erratic or arbitrary in the first two editions. Reactions to
|
|
|
|
|
the Third Edition have generally been positive, although some players
|
|
|
|
|
grumble that the rules are now too consistent. William Connors, a
|
|
|
|
|
designer for TSR and, briefly, for Wizards, says that with the Third
|
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|
|
|
Edition, “the heart and soul of the game was gone. To me, it wasn’t all
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|
that much more exciting than playing with an Excel
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|
spreadsheet.”\[[25](#footnote25)\] A gamer I talked to in a Manhattan
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|
hobby shop says that he’s afraid the Third Edition is for “power
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|
campaigners”: people who exploit the rules to make their characters as
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powerful as possible, at the expense of role-playing plausibility or
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|
narrative interest. Nor has the proliferation of rulebooks been checked.
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|
Wizards of the Coast publishes about two dozen official rulebooks for
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D\&D, not counting dozens of supplementary books by other publishers;
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and the Third Edition rulebooks have already been superceded by Edition
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3.5.
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Meanwhile, a stranger transformation has taken place: D\&D is no longer
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uncool. In part, this is because the game has become more sophisticated,
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more narrative-based, less single-mindedly devoted to the destruction of
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monsters. A live-action role-playing game\[[26](#footnote26)\] called
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Vampire: The Masquerade introduced members of the Goth subculture to
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gaming; some of them switched over to D\&D, with the result that there
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are more women gamers now, and they are in a position to make their own
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version of the game.\[[27](#footnote27)\] Also, some of the people who
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create mass culture now were once themselves gamers. There are graphic
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depictions of D\&D in The X-Files and Freaks & Geeks and Buffy the
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Vampire Slayer; Gary Gygax has even made a cameo appearance on Futurama.
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|
Vin Diesel admits happily to being a gamer; Steven Colbert admits to
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|
having been one. Mostly, though, D\&D has become acceptable because
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people get used to things. As John Rateliff, who has worked on the game
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since the early ’90s, puts it, “It’s kind of like rock music. All it
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takes is time for people to get over their fear of the new and find out
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whether it’s something they might actually enjoy trying themselves.”
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The question is, are new people joining the game? According to a recent
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survey, there are four million D\&D players in the United States, and
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that number hasn’t changed much in the last few years. The majority of
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the players are between eighteen and twenty-four years old, then you
|
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have the twelve- to seventeen-year-olds and the twenty-five- to
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thirty-four-year-olds, who play in roughly equal numbers; then the
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thirty-five to forty-five-year-olds, and finally the eight- to
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eleven-year-olds, very few of whom play D\&D, or have even heard of the
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game. The survey notes cheerily that a third of these tweenagers
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expressed interest in learning about D\&D, but whether Wizards of the
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Coast can translate this interest into sales—and players—remains to be
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seen. Last summer I visited Gen Con, a gaming convention that has been
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held annually since 1968 when Gary Gygax and his friends rented out the
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Lake Geneva Horticultural Hall.\[[28](#footnote28)\] The convention has
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grown to about 26,000 attendees annually, and it has moved, from Lake
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Geneva to Milwaukee and now to Indianapolis, where it occupies the
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convention center downtown, between the state house and the football
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stadium. I didn’t see many twelve- to seventeen-year-olds, and the ones
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I did see were gathered in the Xbox area, blowing each other away in
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|
Halo 2. The people who filled the gaming rooms and prowled the Exhibit
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Hall were men and women in their twenties and thirties, some of them in
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doublets and hose, some in Goth regalia, most in shorts and T-shirts and
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|
jeans and sneakers and sandals. If they had dispersed into the streets
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of Indianapolis no one would have known them for anything but citizens,
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|
if it weren’t for their convention badges and the fervent light in their
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eyes. Of course, these were the people who loved gaming enough to travel
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to central Indiana and spend several hundred dollars on entrance fees,
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game tickets, hotels and restaurants, which, incidentally, were serving
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special game-themed meals: whatever else gamers may be, they are
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apparently willing to spend money on almost anything
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game-related.\[[29](#footnote29)\] You wouldn’t expect a
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fifteen-year-old to turn up here on his own—except that in the early
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days of Gen Con, you heard stories about kids who did just that. They
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|
came by bus and hitchhiked to the convention center; they gamed all day
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and slept in the hallways at night because they couldn’t afford hotel
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|
rooms.
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I didn’t play much D\&D while I was at Gen Con, in part because the
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|
Third Edition rules are too different from the rules I grew up with, and
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|
in part because tournament play isn’t my cup of tea: it’s goal-directed,
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|
|
without much emphasis on role-playing.\[[30](#footnote30)\] However,
|
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|
|
according to the same survey, the largest group of D\&D players are just
|
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|
|
my age: thirty-five-year-old men make up almost 10 percent of the
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|
D\&D-playing population (twenty-two-year-olds are next, at 7 percent,
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|
|
then thirty-two-year-olds, at 5.5 percent). These are the people whose
|
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|
adolescence corresponds to the peak of D\&D’s popularity, the ones who
|
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|
were in college when Second Edition came out and the game’s popularity
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|
|
surged again. At the risk of drawing false conclusions, I will venture
|
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|
|
to speak for my demographic: we were hooked early, and the hooks went
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|
deep into us. Few of the people I talked to or read about, who have been
|
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|
|
involved with gaming since the early ’90s or longer, show any sign of
|
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|
|
wanting to quit. John Rateliff says, “If I’m still alive \[at
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|
|
seventy-five\], I’ll still be playing. Why not? I intend to still be
|
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|
|
listening to the music I like and reading the books I like at \[that
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|
|
age\], if I’m still able. Why shouldn’t I still be enjoying my favorite
|
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|
|
hobby?” Skip Williams, who has been working on D\&D since First Edition
|
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|
|
days, has left Wizards of the Coast, but he can’t seem to leave gaming;
|
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|
right now he’s sprucing up a bunch of “classic monsters” for a new
|
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|
|
monster book. Even Brian Blume, who left TSR after a bitter struggle
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|
with Gary Gygax, and seems unlikely to have fond memories of those days,
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|
was recently roped into a game of Boot Hill, the Wild-West-era
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|
role-playing game he co-wrote in 1975. “I was at a games convention in
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|
Des Moines, and a fellow was running a big barroom shootout, and I got
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|
|
involved. It was a big nostalgic moment.” Apparently the referee begged
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|
Blume to play the sheriff, the toughest role, because usually in those
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|
situations the sheriff is the first one to be shot. “Were you shot?” I
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|
asked. “I role-played it a little,” Blume said, and chuckled. “I got
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|
about halfway through, and I’m happy with that.”
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|
If Wizards of the Coast can’t find a way to make Dungeons & Dragons
|
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|
|
compelling to children, then the day will come when D\&D is the
|
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|
|
equivalent of bingo or shuffleboard, played by forgetful old men in
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|
|
retirement homes, community centers, and, yes, church basements. “I’m an
|
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|
|
elf of some sort,” one of the players will say. “Where did I put that
|
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|
|
character sheet?” But the best hope for D\&D’s future currency may be
|
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|
|
that we thirty-five-year-olds will overcome our geekdom for at least
|
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|
|
long enough to start families. “My kids are coming tomorrow,” said one
|
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|
|
Gen Con visitor, a thirty-six-year-old man who had been playing D\&D for
|
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|
|
twenty-four years. “They’ve never played before, but I thought I’d give
|
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|
|
them the chance to try it out.” There’s no reason to think that children
|
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|
|
have lost the desire to become elves, warriors, wizards, and thieves. If
|
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|
|
we’re lucky, they’ll be willing to play with their parents.
|
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|
|
**THE SCENARIO, OR,
|
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|
|
|
WAYNE AND I MEET
|
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|
|
THE WIZARD**
|
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|
|
# BACKGROUND INFORMATION
|
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|
We are far enough into the cave now that I can tell you that I have
|
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|
|
|
mixed feelings about Dungeons & Dragons. I played fantasy role-playing
|
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|
|
games more or less incessantly from 1978, when my father brought home
|
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|
|
the D\&D Basic Set, until 1985, when I changed high schools and fell out
|
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|
|
|
of constant contact with my gamer friends. I played so much that it’s
|
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|
|
hard for me to understand in retrospect how I managed to do anything
|
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|
|
else, and the truth is that I didn’t do anything else. I was a mediocre
|
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|
|
|
student; I didn’t see hardly any of New York City, where I lived; I knew
|
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|
|
|
less about girls than I did about the Gelatinous Cube (immune to cold
|
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|
|
|
and sleep; takes normal damage from fire). I played at friends’ houses;
|
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|
|
I played in the school cafeteria; I played in the hallway between
|
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|
|
classes; I cut class to play in whispers in the library. I hesitate to
|
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|
|
|
say that I was addicted to role-playing games only because I never knew
|
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|
|
what it was like to go without them; in D\&D I had found something I
|
|
|
|
|
loved more than life itself. Then a number of things happened, and for
|
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|
|
|
fifteen years I didn’t think about D\&D at all. I was living in San
|
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|
|
|
Francisco, where dungeon referred to something entirely different, and
|
|
|
|
|
life seemed mutable and good, like a game. In December 2001, I moved
|
|
|
|
|
back to New York, and soon afterward I began to think about D\&D again.
|
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|
|
|
It turned out that my agent’s office was a block from the Compleat
|
|
|
|
|
Strategist, the hobby shop where I used to buy my role-playing games. I
|
|
|
|
|
wasn’t eager to revisit that part of my life, which I thought of as a
|
|
|
|
|
dangerous mire from which I had miraculously escaped, but I slunk into
|
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|
|
the store. Nothing had changed: nothing. The same pads of hex
|
|
|
|
|
paper\[[31](#footnote31)\] stood in the same racks by the door, their
|
|
|
|
|
covers bleached by twenty years of sunlight. It was as if the place had
|
|
|
|
|
been preserved as a museum to the heyday of tabletop role-playing games;
|
|
|
|
|
it was as if someone had set out to demonstrate that you could go home
|
|
|
|
|
again. Maybe I wanted to come home; maybe I had never really left that
|
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|
|
|
mire; maybe I needed to own up to an old love—an old habit—in order to
|
|
|
|
|
make my life whole. This thing of dorkness I acknowledge mine. All I
|
|
|
|
|
knew was that I had to do something about Dungeons & Dragons: put it
|
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|
|
|
behind me once and for all, or return to its warm, embarrassing embrace.
|
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|
|
|
For a long time I did neither. Then one day, when my friend Wayne and I
|
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|
|
|
were talking about our gaming days, he said, why don’t you interview E.
|
|
|
|
|
Gary Gygax? It made sense. Gygax was the source of Dungeons & Dragons,
|
|
|
|
|
the wizard who cast the original spell.\[[32](#footnote32)\] Perhaps by
|
|
|
|
|
going to see him I could get the spell lifted at last. And besides, as
|
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|
|
Wayne was quick to point out, how cool would it be to meet Gary Gygax?
|
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|
|
Not to mention, he said, the possibility that we could convince him
|
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|
|
|
somehow to play D\&D with us. We, he said, because of course it had to
|
|
|
|
|
be both of us. You need three people to play D\&D; besides, Wayne was
|
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|
|
under the spell, too.
|
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|
|
|
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|
|
|
|
# LAKE GENEVA
|
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Gary Gygax still lives in Lake Geneva, a resort town about two hours
|
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|
|
northeast of Chicago. Incorporated in 1844, it has a cutesified little
|
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|
|
downtown and a historical museum in which a street from Old Lake Geneva
|
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|
|
is haphazardly recreated, down to the Indian arrowheads, barber poles,
|
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|
|
and photographs of former firemen. There’s an excellent video arcade,
|
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|
|
with a vintage Robotron console still in good working order. There’s a
|
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|
|
place that sells Frozen Custard Butterburgers, two distinct Midwestern
|
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|
|
delicacies, I hope. There’s a big lake, which freezes in winter; people
|
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|
|
build a shantytown on the ice and go fishing for bass and cisco. Gygax
|
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|
|
was born in Chicago, but he grew up here, and he returned to Lake Geneva
|
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|
|
in his mid-twenties to raise his family. It’s not hard to see how
|
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|
|
|
Dungeons & Dragons would come out of a place like this, a place where,
|
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|
|
on a fine spring night, you can find the town’s youthful population
|
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|
|
walking up and down Main Street, from the ice cream parlor to the
|
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|
|
arcade, from the arcade to the lake. If you grew up here, you would need
|
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|
|
to dream of something.
|
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|
Gygax and I agreed to meet on a Saturday in May. I said I’d come at
|
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|
|
eleven; he said, come at nine, I’ll make you breakfast. So Wayne and I
|
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|
|
|
found ourselves outside his big yellow house one gray morning, wondering
|
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|
|
if we were worthy to meet the Wizard. Then he let us in. Gygax does not
|
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|
|
|
look un-wizardly: he has a long white ponytail, a white beard and fierce
|
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|
|
black eyebrows, like Gandalf. He is shorter than Gandalf, however, and
|
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|
|
stouter, and more cheerful: picture him as a cross between Gandalf and
|
|
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|
|
Bilbo Baggins.\[[33](#footnote33)\] A lifelong smoker, Gygax sounds a
|
|
|
|
|
bit like Tom Waits, especially when he laughs, and he laughs often. He
|
|
|
|
|
had a mild stroke in 2004, and his doctor ordered him to quit
|
|
|
|
|
cigarettes; now he smokes Monterrey Black and Mild cigarillos, one after
|
|
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|
|
the other. He led us to a table at the corner of the screened porch,
|
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|
|
which was cluttered with a long life’s worth of wicker furniture and
|
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|
|
floor lamps. In the center of the table lay a big pleather-bound copy of
|
|
|
|
|
the Holy Scriptures: maybe it was there by accident, or maybe Gygax
|
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|
|
|
wanted to reassure us that he wasn’t a Satanist. I had told him that I
|
|
|
|
|
was writing for a magazine called the Believer, after all. As we sat
|
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|
|
|
down, his wife appeared from within the house, saw us, and cried,
|
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|
|
“They’re two hours early\!” Gygax excused himself and conferred
|
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|
|
within. Then he came out as if nothing had happened; he lit a cigarillo
|
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|
|
and began to speak.
|
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|
|
E. Gary Gygax was born in 1938. His father, Ernst Gygax, came to America
|
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|
|
from Switzerland; he settled in Chicago, and one summer he went to a
|
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|
|
dance in Lake Geneva. There he met Almina Emilie Burdick, the daughter
|
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|
|
of an old Lake Geneva family, married her, and returned to Chicago, not
|
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|
|
necessarily in that order. Ernst wanted to play the violin, he put
|
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|
|
himself through music school and for a time he played with the Chicago
|
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|
|
Symphony Orchestra, but when he saw that he would never make first chair
|
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|
|
he gave it up and sold clothes instead. He was, Gygax says, an attentive
|
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|
|
father, and he must have been a permissive father also, because Gygax’s
|
|
|
|
|
childhood was marked by a disregard for rules and obligations. He went
|
|
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|
|
to school half a block from his childhood house in Lake Geneva, but he
|
|
|
|
|
was rarely to be found there. “It was just dull and stupid,” he says,
|
|
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|
|
“and you know, I had so many other things I wanted to do. I had a day
|
|
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|
|
full of active going out with my friends, playing chess, hanging around,
|
|
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|
|
trying to pick up girls, usually without any success whatsoever. What?
|
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|
|
Sit home? Do school work? Unthinkable.” Instead he threw firecrackers at
|
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|
|
the chief of the waterworks, shot .22s down empty streets, and haunted
|
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|
|
the abandoned Oak Hill Sanatorium, a five-story brick building that
|
|
|
|
|
overlooked Lake Geneva. He played make-believe with the kids next door:
|
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|
|
he was a cowboy named Jim Slade, and he got the drop on his friends so
|
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|
|
often that they quit in disgust.
|
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|
|
Easygoing as he sounds, Gygax likes to win; there is in him more than a
|
|
|
|
|
little of the Ernst who would be first violin or nothing. You can hear
|
|
|
|
|
it in the way that he talks about the invention of Dungeons & Dragons.
|
|
|
|
|
Gygax and Dave Arneson are credited equally as authors of the original
|
|
|
|
|
game, but as Gygax tells it, Arneson had at most a minor role in the
|
|
|
|
|
process. When I asked him whether Arneson ran his Blackmoor campaign
|
|
|
|
|
before the D\&D rules were written—a fact which seems beyond doubt, and
|
|
|
|
|
which establishes Arneson’s involvement in the creation of the
|
|
|
|
|
game—Gygax answered evasively, “Um, he was up in Minneapolis, and he
|
|
|
|
|
ran a lot of game campaigns. He was using my Chainmail rules for a
|
|
|
|
|
campaign and I think that was called Blackmoor.” Arneson, for his part,
|
|
|
|
|
claims that he scrapped the Chainmail rules early on, in favor of a more
|
|
|
|
|
complex system derived from Civil War–era naval
|
|
|
|
|
simulations.\[[34](#footnote34)\] And the gloom thickens: Arneson sued
|
|
|
|
|
TSR more than once for royalties and a co-authorship credit on the
|
|
|
|
|
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons rulebooks; the court decided in his favor,
|
|
|
|
|
but as far as I know he never got the credit.\[[35](#footnote35)\]
|
|
|
|
|
Arneson is legally enjoined from discussing the matter, and Gygax
|
|
|
|
|
doesn’t like to talk about it either, perhaps because it reflects
|
|
|
|
|
badly on him, or perhaps because he is at heart a Midwesterner, and so
|
|
|
|
|
not disposed to speak ill of his fellow man. As we talked, though, it
|
|
|
|
|
became clear that Gygax thinks strategically about more or less
|
|
|
|
|
everything. He mentioned that his son Luke had served in the first Gulf
|
|
|
|
|
War: “I told him when he was over there for Desert Shield, I said,
|
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‘Well, here’s what’s going to happen. The \[Coalition’s\] left flank
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is gonna come around and pocket all those dummies\!’ And that’s exactly
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what they did. I couldn’t believe it, you know? Boy, Saddam Hussein’s
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not a general.” Wayne asked Gygax what he would have done in Saddam’s
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place. Gygax thought about it, then answered, “I would have gotten right
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out of Kuwait…. You’d have to slow ’em up and you’d try to fight a
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guerilla war.” He conceded that against Allied airpower, the Iraqis
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would have lost anyhow. But it didn’t stop him from figuring out how to
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make the best of a weak position.
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Gygax’s own position at TSR had become weak by 1982. In order to finance
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the publication of D\&D in 1974, he and his partner Don Kaye had brought
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in a friend named Brian Blume, whose father, Melvin, was willing to
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invest money in the company. Kaye died in 1976, and Brian got his
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brother Kevin named to TSR’s board. Gygax was the president of TSR, but
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the Blumes effectively controlled the company; to keep Gygax further in
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check they brought in three outside directors, a lawyer and two
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businessmen who knew nothing about gaming but always voted with the
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Blumes. So Gygax moved to Los Angeles, and became president of Dungeons
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& Dragons Entertainment, which produced a successful D\&D cartoon, and
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set out to produce a D\&D movie. This was, to put it mildly, a strategic
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retreat. Gygax rented King Vidor’s mansion, high up in Beverly Hills,
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with a bar, a pool table, and a hot tub with a view of everything from
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Hollywood to Catalina. He had a Cadillac and a driver; he had lunch with
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Orson Welles, though he mentions with Gygaxian modesty that “I find no
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greatness through association.”\[[36](#footnote36)\] Here a whiff of
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scandal enters the story. Gygax had separated from his first wife, the
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mother of five of his six children; he had not yet married his second
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wife, Gail.\[[37](#footnote37)\] In the interim, well, it was Hollywood,
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and Gygax was in possession of a desirable hot tub. Gygax refers to the
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girlfriends who used to drive him around—he doesn’t drive; never has—and
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to a certain party attended by the contestants of the Miss Beverly Hills
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International Beauty Pageant. But he also mentions that he had a sand
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table set up in the barn, where he and the screenwriters for the D\&D
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cartoon used to play Chainmail miniatures. This is perhaps why Gygax,
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unlike other men who leave their wives and run off to L.A., is not
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odious: his love of winning is tempered by an even greater love of
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playing, and of getting others to play along. He ends the story about
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the beauty pageant girls with the observation that Luke, who was living
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with him at the time, was in heaven, seated between Miss Germany and
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Miss Finland.
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Gygax spent a lot of money in Hollywood. According to Brian Blume, he
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paid the screenwriter James Goldman, best known for A Lion in Winter,
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$500,000 for the script of the would-be D\&D movie, but a movie deal
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remained elusive. Meanwhile, TSR had other problems: believing that it
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would continue to grow indefinitely, the Blumes had overstaffed the
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company; they invested in expensive computer equipment, office
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furniture, a fleet of company cars. But TSR’s growth spurt was over. By
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1984, the company was $1.5 million in debt, and the bank was ready to
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perfect its liens on TSR’s trademarks: in effect, to repossess Dungeons
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& Dragons. Gygax got word that the Blumes were trying to sell TSR, and
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he returned to Lake Geneva, where he persuaded the board of directors to
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fire Kevin Blume and published a new D\&D rulebook to raise
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cash.\[[38](#footnote38)\] At the same time, Gygax looked for people to
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invest in the company. While he was living in Los Angeles, he’d become
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friends with a writer named Flint Dille, with whom he collaborated on a
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series of choose-your-own-adventure-type novels. Flint arranged for
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Gygax to meet his sister, Lorraine Dille Williams, who, in addition to
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the Buck Rogers fortune, had experience in hospital and not-for-profit
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administration. Gygax asked Williams to invest in TSR; Williams
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demurred, but agreed to advise Gygax on how to get the company back on
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its feet.
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In May, 1985, Gygax exercised a stock option which gave him a
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controlling interest in TSR; he named himself CEO, and hired Williams as
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a general manager. And here the darkness of the cave becomes so great
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that almost nothing can be seen. Some time in the summer of 1985,
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Williams, impressed by the potential value of TSR’s intellectual
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property, decided to take control of the company. She bought out the
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Blume brothers, who wanted to quit anyway; but first she got Brian Blume
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to exercise his stock option, which meant that Williams ended up with a
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majority of the shares of TSR. At this point, Brian Blume says, “ugly
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things happened.” Blume says that Gygax tried to fire Williams and hire
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Gail Carpenter (the future Mrs. E. Gary Gygax) in her place. Gygax says
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that he wanted to fire Williams when she was still only a manager, but
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was advised not to, and didn’t, until it was too late. Flint Dille
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speculates that Gygax wanted the company for himself. “Gary was
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interested in running TSR again. He was going to replace the board with
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his then-girlfriend, family members, and pets. And Lorraine said, you
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can’t do that. We don’t want to replace one tyranny with another.”
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For nearly a year after we met Gygax, Wayne and I entertained various
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wild theories about what had really happened, and why. Then I found
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Lorraine Williams. She has kept silent about TSR since she left the
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company, in 1997, but she agreed to talk with me for some reason,
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perhaps because I didn’t sound like a hard-core gamer, or because even
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keeping silent no longer seems important to her after all these years. I
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hoped for something extraordinary from our conversation: a revelation, a
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glimmer of light in the dark heart of the cave. I was disappointed.
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“There’s no great, hidden story,” Williams told me, “as much as people
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would like there to be one.” She saw the potential for TSR to move
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beyond the sluggish market for role-playing games: “If you look at the
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track record of what has been published by TSR, and how many people in
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the fantasy and science fiction area got their start publishing with
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TSR, it’s impressive. And I found that exciting. I also saw an
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opportunity that we were never really able to capitalize on, and that
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was the ability to go in and develop intellectual property.” She moved
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in. “And it was my intention at that time,” she said, “and I really
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thought that Gary and I had actually worked out the deal, that he would
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continue to have a very strong role, a leading role in the creative
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process, and I would take over the management. But that didn’t work for
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a bunch of really extraneous reasons.” Williams declined to say what
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those reasons were, but her brother speculates, plausibly, that they had
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to do with the Los Angeles operation: basically, Gygax didn’t want to
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give up King Vidor’s mansion, not when a movie deal could come through
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any day, not when he was having so much fun.\[[39](#footnote39)\] Gloom,
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gloom.
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When Gygax learned that Williams had bought the Blumes’ shares, he tried
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to block the sale in court. He lost. Lorraine Williams had outmaneuvered
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him, and she would continue to do so through the 1980s and ’90s,
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thwarting his attempts to create games which were, in her eyes,
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|
|
infringements on TSR’s intellectual property.\[[40](#footnote40)\] Gygax
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|
succumbed to the business equivalent of air superiority. In 1986, he
|
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|
became the chairman of the board of directors of a company called New
|
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|
|
Infinities Productions, which published the Cyborg Commando role-playing
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|
|
game, which has been utterly lost, like most of the role-playing games
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|
|
published in the 1980s. Not even the Compleat Strategist stocks it
|
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|
anymore.
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|
King Vidor’s mansion has been torn down; Gary Gygax is back in an old,
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|
|
cluttered house a few blocks from where he grew up. He has sold or
|
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|
|
renounced his rights to Dungeons & Dragons, and the money he made in
|
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|
|
TSR’s fat years seems mostly to be gone, too. He continues to write
|
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|
|
|
D\&D supplements with names like Gary Gygax’s Fantasy Fortifications,
|
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|
|
but the market for such work is small: a third-party D\&D title is doing
|
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|
|
well if it sells 5,000 copies. Gygax is still designing his own games,
|
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|
|
too. He worked for a while on a fantasy role-playing game called
|
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|
|
Dangerous Journeys, and now he’s working on one called Lejendary
|
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|
|
Adventures, a rules-lite alternative to the behemoth that Dungeons &
|
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|
|
Dragons has become. I haven’t played Lejendary Adventures, but to judge
|
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|
|
from the rulebook the game seems to be haunted by the specter of
|
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|
|
copyright infringement: characters are called avatars; classes are
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|
|
called orders; experience points are called merits; the elf has been
|
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|
|
renamed the Ilf. This despite the fact that elf is uncopyrightable: it’s
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|
|
as if Gygax were still dodging Lorraine Williams after all these years.
|
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|
|
And yet he doesn’t seem to feel much rancor, or much regret. Perhaps
|
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|
|
|
that’s because, win or lose, Gygax has made a whole life of playing
|
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|
|
games; and he is still playing. He has a weekly game of Metamorphosis
|
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|
|
Alpha, a science-fiction RPG, with Jim Ward, the game’s author. He plays
|
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|
|
old-fashioned D\&D regularly with his son, Alex, and Ward, and sometimes
|
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|
|
|
with fans who make pilgrimages to Lake Geneva. And no one ever comes to
|
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|
|
|
ask why he isn’t in school\! No wonder he laughs so often.
|
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|
# THE TEETH OF
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|
BARKASH-NOUR
|
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Wayne and I took Gygax to lunch at an Italian restaurant on the
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|
|
outskirts of Lake Geneva: an expensive place, Gygax warned us. Our
|
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|
|
sandwiches cost six or seven dollars each. After lunch, we returned to
|
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|
|
his house to play some Dungeons & Dragons. Wayne and I felt curiously
|
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|
|
listless; it had already been a long day of talking; Wayne wasn’t sure
|
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|
|
|
he remembered how to play; I would have been happy to go back to our
|
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|
|
motel room and sleep. This happens to me often: I decide that I want
|
|
|
|
|
something; I work and work at it; and just as the object of my quest
|
|
|
|
|
comes into view, it suddenly comes to seem less valuable, not valuable
|
|
|
|
|
at all. I can find no compelling reason to seize it and often I don’t.
|
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|
|
(This has never been the case, curiously, in role-playing games, where
|
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|
|
my excitement increases in a normal way as the end of the adventure
|
|
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|
|
approaches. Which is probably another reason why I like the games more
|
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|
|
|
than the life that goes on around them, and between them.) I wonder if
|
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|
|
we would have turned back, if Gygax hadn’t already gone into the house
|
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|
|
and come back with his purple velvet dice bag and a black binder, a
|
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|
|
module he wrote for a tournament in 1975. This was before the Tolkien
|
|
|
|
|
estate threatened to sue TSR, and halflings were still called hobbits.
|
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|
|
So I got to play a hobbit thief and a magic-user and Wayne played a
|
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|
|
|
cleric and a fighter, and for four and a half hours we struggled through
|
|
|
|
|
a wilderness adventure in a looking-glass world of carnivorous plants,
|
|
|
|
|
invisible terrain, breathable water, and so on. All of which Gygax
|
|
|
|
|
presented with a minimum of fuss. The author of Dungeons & Dragons
|
|
|
|
|
doesn’t much care for role-playing: “If I want to do that,” he said,
|
|
|
|
|
“I’ll join an amateur theater group.” In fact, D\&D, as DM’ed by E.
|
|
|
|
|
Gary Gygax, is not unlike a miniatures combat game. We spent a lot of
|
|
|
|
|
time just moving around, looking for the fabled Teeth of Barkash-Nour,
|
|
|
|
|
which were supposed to lie in a direction indicated by the “tail of the
|
|
|
|
|
Great Bear’s pointing.” Our confusion at first was pitiable, almost
|
|
|
|
|
Beckettian.
|
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|
> GYGAX: You run down northeast along the ridge, and you can see the
|
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|
|
|
> river to your north and to your northeast. So which way do you want to
|
|
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|
|
> go?
|
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|
|
>
|
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|
|
> PAUL: The river is flowing south.
|
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|
|
>
|
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|
|
> WAYNE: Which is the direction we ultimately want to go, right?
|
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|
|
>
|
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|
|
> PAUL: We have to wend in the direction of the tail of the…
|
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|
|
>
|
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|
|
> PAUL, WAYNE: “Great Bear’s pointing.”
|
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|
>
|
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|
|
> PAUL: But we have no idea which way that is.
|
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|
>
|
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|
|
> WAYNE: Tail of the Great Bear’s pointing. Maybe we should go north.
|
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|
|
The sky clouds over; raindrops fall; the clouds part and the light turns
|
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|
|
rich yellow. The screen porch smells of cigar smoke. I want to go
|
|
|
|
|
outside, to walk by Lake Geneva in early May, to follow the beautiful
|
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|
|
|
woman Wayne and I saw walking by the shore, to meet a stranger, to live.
|
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|
|
But I can’t get up. I roll the dice. I’m not tired anymore; I’m not
|
|
|
|
|
worried about making a fool of myself in front of Gygax, who obviously
|
|
|
|
|
couldn’t care less. And something strange is happening: Wayne and I are
|
|
|
|
|
starting to play well. We climb a cliff by means of a magic carpet; we
|
|
|
|
|
bargain with invisible creatures in an invisible lake. We steal eggs
|
|
|
|
|
from a hippogriff’s nest; we chase away giant crabs by threatening them
|
|
|
|
|
with the illusion of a giant, angry lobster.\[[41](#footnote41)\] The
|
|
|
|
|
scenario was designed for a group of six or eight characters, but by
|
|
|
|
|
dint of cooperation and sound tactics (basically, we avoid fighting any
|
|
|
|
|
monster that isn’t directly in our path) we make it through, from one
|
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|
|
page of Gygax’s black binder to the next. So we come to the final foe,
|
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|
|
|
the Slimy Horror, which turns our two spellcasters into vegetables; my
|
|
|
|
|
hobbit thief and Wayne’s fighter don’t stand a chance against it. “That
|
|
|
|
|
was pretty good,” Gygax says. He lets us read through the scenario,
|
|
|
|
|
noting all the monsters we didn’t kill, all the treasure that was never
|
|
|
|
|
ours. The Teeth of Barkash-Nour are very powerful: one of them increases
|
|
|
|
|
your character’s strength permanently; another transports you to a
|
|
|
|
|
different plane of existence. We were so close\! So close, Wayne and I
|
|
|
|
|
tell each other. We did better than we ever expected to; in fact, we
|
|
|
|
|
almost won.
|
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|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# POSTSCRIPT
|
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|
|
I would like to tell you that playing D\&D with Gary Gygax lifted
|
|
|
|
|
whatever spell I was under, and that when we left Lake Geneva, I
|
|
|
|
|
embarked on a new life, unhaunted by the past. But here, outside the
|
|
|
|
|
cave, things are rarely so simple. I still eye my weatherbeaten copy of
|
|
|
|
|
the Players Handbook, with Gygax’s face all over the cover, and think
|
|
|
|
|
about how much fun it would be to go in one more time. Wayne has moved
|
|
|
|
|
to another city, but he and I are talking about meeting up at Gen Con
|
|
|
|
|
this summer. In the meantime, we both have work to do. Maybe that’s all
|
|
|
|
|
the peace you can make with the past: you agree that it can come back,
|
|
|
|
|
but you make it meet you for just a weekend, at a convention center in a
|
|
|
|
|
city far from your home. Or maybe that’s just my way of making peace.
|
|
|
|
|
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|
|
|
I talked to Gary Gygax again in March of this year, to ask, among other
|
|
|
|
|
things, if there was any truth to the rumor that he was diagnosed with
|
|
|
|
|
stomach cancer in the early 1980s, and that he moved to L.A. because he
|
|
|
|
|
didn’t want to spend the last six months of his life fighting with the
|
|
|
|
|
Blume brothers in Lake Geneva. “No,” he said. “I have an abdominal
|
|
|
|
|
aortic aneurysm, though.” He told me that he’d found out about it in
|
|
|
|
|
January; the doctors tell him it’s inoperable. One day it will rupture
|
|
|
|
|
and that will be the end. “I’m in no hurry,” he said. And indeed, here
|
|
|
|
|
he was, telling me about Elastolin plastic miniatures, and a hobby-shop
|
|
|
|
|
owner named Harry Bodenstadt, who used to run a game called the Siege of
|
|
|
|
|
Bodenburg, in order to sell miniature castles to war gamers in Wisconsin
|
|
|
|
|
in the 1960s. From which you could conclude, I guess, that games are
|
|
|
|
|
everything for Gygax, or that everything is a game; but I don’t think
|
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|
|
that would be quite right. I think that he has found a way to live.
|
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|
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|
|
|
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|
|
> Thanks to Michelle Vuckovich and Jennifer Estaris for their help
|
|
|
|
|
> researching this article, and of course to Wayne, for being a part of
|
|
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|
|
> it.
|