---
created_at: '2016-12-28T07:05:09.000Z'
title: Linux (2003)
url: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=linux
author: setra
points: 108
story_text: 
comment_text: 
num_comments: 42
story_id: 
story_title: 
story_url: 
parent_id: 
created_at_i: 1482908709
_tags:
- story
- author_setra
- story_13268944
objectID: '13268944'

---
  
  
UNIX Airways  
  
Everyone brings one   
  
DOS   
  
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let
the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again,
jump on again, and so on...  
  
Airlines   
  
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and   
  
Windows Air  
  
The terminal is   
  
Windows NT Air  
  
like Windows Air, but costs more, uses   
  
Windows XP Air  
  
You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air
planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three
times as big as they need to be. The signs are   
  
Linux Air  
  
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their
own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the
runways themselves. They charge a   
  
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, 

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...UNIX AirwaysEveryone brings one
[piece](/define.php?term=piece) of the plane along when they come [to
the](/define.php?term=to%20the) airport. They all go out on the runway
and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what
kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
[Air](/define.php?term=Air) DOSEverybody pushes the airplane until it
glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the
ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
[Mac](/define.php?term=Mac) AirlinesAll the stewards, captains, baggage
handlers, and [ticket](/define.php?term=ticket) agents look and act
exactly the same. Every [time](/define.php?term=time) you ask questions
about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't
[need](/define.php?term=need) to know, don't [want
to](/define.php?term=want%20to) know, and everything
[will](/define.php?term=will) be done for you without your ever having
to know, so [just](/define.php?term=just) shut up.Windows AirThe
terminal is [pretty](/define.php?term=pretty) and colourful, with
friendly stewards, [easy](/define.php?term=easy) baggage
[check](/define.php?term=check) and boarding, and a smooth take-off.
After about 10 minutes in the [air](/define.php?term=air) , the plane
explodes with no warning whatsoever.Windows NT Air
[Just](/define.php?term=Just) like Windows Air, but costs more, uses
[much](/define.php?term=much) bigger planes, and takes out all the other
aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.Windows XP AirYou turn
up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes.
All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big
as they need to be. The signs are [huge](/define.php?term=huge) and all
[point](/define.php?term=point) the same way. Whichever way you go,
someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed
[hat](/define.php?term=hat) insisting you follow him. Your luggage and
clothes are [taken](/define.php?term=taken) off you and replaced with an
XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone
[around](/define.php?term=around) you as this is included in the
exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have
signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be
the same [Mickey Mouse](/define.php?term=Mickey%20Mouse) cartoon
repeated over and over again. You have to
[phone](/define.php?term=phone) your travel agent before you can have a
meal or [drink](/define.php?term=drink) . You are searched regularly
throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get
charged for a [new](/define.php?term=new) ticket. No matter what
destination you [booked](/define.php?term=booked) you will
[always](/define.php?term=always) end up crash landing at Whistler in
Canada.Linux AirDisgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines
decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket
counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a
[small](/define.php?term=small) fee to cover the cost of printing the
ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.When you
board the plane, you are given a seat, [four](/define.php?term=four)
bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the
fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives
on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You
try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great
[trip](/define.php?term=trip) , but all they can say is, "You had to do
what with the seat?"
