---
created_at: '2017-10-01T23:30:33.000Z'
title: Corporate Gibberish Generator (2004)
url: http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/
author: vinchuco
points: 55
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---
[Source](http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/ "Permalink to Corporate Gibberish Generator on AndrewDavidson.com")

# Corporate Gibberish Generator on AndrewDavidson.com


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# Corporate Gibberish Generator™

![][16]

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/atandrewdavidson/dotcom   
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.   
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.) 

|  **Company Name:**  |  | 

  

## Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:

* * *

Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed CAE and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. 

** AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of mega-bloatware. ** What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B compliance and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you envisioneer micro-proactively then you may also iterate strategically. Think six-sigma. Think ubiquitous. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned social networks, relationships are forced to become customer-directed, backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to streamline intuitively than to reinvent virtually. Think sexy. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our technologies but our ability to productize. 

We will disintermediate the capacity of aggregation to monetize. 

** We here at AssCo realize that it is better to brand transparently than to visualize holistically. ** We have come to know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also evolve mega-proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined compliance and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think killer. Think blog-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. The CAE factor is next-generation, C2C2B. We will raise our power to monetize without lessening our ability to seize. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with emerging experiences? A company that can enhance correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. We will raise our capability to implement without decrementing our capability to cultivate. We understand that if you empower cyber-proactively then you may also maximize holistically. 

We will drive the capability of biometrics to monetize. 

** At AssCo, we have proven we know how to incentivize interactively. ** We will deploy the power of ROI metrics to transition. The supply-chains factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. The power to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capability to transition efficiently. We think that most front-end, reality-based, resource-constrained splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. Without bandwidth, you will lack efficient back-end CAD supervising. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with new e-markets? Think end-to-end. Think real-world. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. 

Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. 

** AssCo has refactored the abstraction of CAE metrics. ** We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for synergistic, plug-and-play, interactive CAD are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. What does the jargon-based term "M&A;" really mean? The process management factor is 24/7/365. The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will disintermediate the standard industry industry jargon "holistic". Without mission-critical implementation, you will lack seamless, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. 

We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. 

** Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? ** We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to cultivate intuitively. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think micro-customer-directed. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! The initiatives factor is six-sigma. Do you have a plan to become viral? Without e-businesses, you will lack content metrics. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient TQM reports, biometrics are forced to become C2C2B. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point) be able to brand courageously. 

Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. 

** At AssCo, we have proven we know how to expedite strategically. ** What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. We usually utilize next-generation long-term, blog-based reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate elegantly. Think vertical. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become robust, front-end, collaborative, synergistic, scalable? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. 

The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. 

** AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". ** We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think extensible, vertical. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? The aptitude to envisioneer perfectly leads to the aptitude to seize virally. Think nano-B2B. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize courageously. A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to embrace defiantly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? 

Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be magnetic, resource-constrained? 

** We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to enable efficiently. ** It seems stunning, but it's true! Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? If you drive strategically, you may have to benchmark virally. The solutions factor is transparent. The power to transition perfectly leads to the capacity to engage virtually. Think vertical. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The ability to cultivate globally leads to the ability to innovate proactively. Without appropriate paradigms, communities are forced to become real-time. We will expand our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capability to harness. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. 

If you matrix transparently, you may have to enhance extensibly. 

** AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". ** If you engage seamlessly, you may have to syndicate intra-extensibly. The aptitude to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to redefine globally. What does the industry jargon "interactive, seamless" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B sexy blog-based, value-added accounting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also facilitate magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Think vertical. Think ultra-intra-ultra-collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. 
* * *

In association with Amazon.com

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